a never ending story of the purest thing happen in life..

2006-12-16T08:11:00.000-08:00

Forever ain't forever

As mentioned in the title above, I personally believe that forever means nothing to me. The word itself, doesn't gives any impact in my life at all. Perhaps, it should always be this way as by seeing the numerous of experiences or stories told ,shared among friends had already hit me in the head that 'forever' don't lasts.

It doesn't need to be relatively connects with relationships, but YESTERDAY, my heart shattered the moment I no longer hold on to the lil hope in me, that FRIENDSHIPS would at least last forever in my diary. Ain't anymore.

When one's kindness or sincerity is taken away harshly, it ain't longer known as friendship. It's just another way of breaking someones heart badly.

I've been feeling really down because of all these mess. I just need trustworthy friends, not to be the one being used or get hurt verbally by people you think you could rely on someday.

Anyhow, it's alright..Fishie sayangs Bebe alot and San Sans back with me again. That'd balance things up! MUACKS!! Fishie got me a Gucci perfume for Christmas gift..and the damn thing, I'm broke this month. How great..

2006-12-13T05:57:00.000-08:00

I've been feeling uneasy for the past weeks and FINALLY, I knew why.

Chatted with Tammie earlier, only to realized Wei Leng and her is angry for I turned them down twice in a row the last two clubbin sessions. I am really sorry for what I did. Perhaps, the previous entry would raise some issue between us but it ain't the complete version of what happened that night. =(

Sandy also fcked me up the next day. I'm such a bad friend, but it wasn't what i expected to turned out that night. I'm so SORRY gurls.. i promise there wouldn't be other time aight?

currently, feeling gloomy..
currently, feeling like a loser
currently, in the living room wishing it is tmrw already =( *sniff*

2006-12-12T20:23:00.000-08:00

weeeeeeeeeeee~ BeBe's on Christmas Mood!! carols, music, greetings, santa claus, rudolphs, white christmas trees, gifts, ahhhhhhhhhhh it's all gud!!

Don't know why but lately people who seem to lost in touch wif me came looking back after me and ironically, they are all guys. One is Bui Yen, another is Marcus. Bui Yen kept asking me out, while Marcus msg me on friendster to get my number again. HAHA HILARIOUS! huh?

oh well...someones back by tmrw =)
muacks!

2006-12-11T05:48:00.000-08:00

"Pink symbolizes sweet love" quoted by BeBe Lim =)

As expected, I turned my gurls down again. It was perfect, we got ourselves a guest list last Thursday at Maison. Sandy was there with her gurls while mine were all confirmed going too. But oh well, it's just not my luck =(

Later at night, Ashley called if I could join her at Flam in Subang. In the end, I was with fishie thru' out the night. He picked me out for dinner. There I met Arias, Ian, Seng,and the gf.

Thought he was supposed to leave to Phuket that night, which was why i turned the gurls down. Manetau he postponed it to the next day.=( He's enjoying over there. heh

Followed family up to Genting yesterday. Nothing special but managed to keep myself entertained by SHOPPING! weee~ I realized I'm quite a good spender =D. Bought myself a pair of jeans, a pair of sandals, a pair of leggings, and a top! Definitely satisfying!!

Nyit Tung, a senior of mine back when I was a Probay as prefect is kinda cool. Met him back in Maison few weeks ago and just kept in touch with him recently. This time, most probably I'll be able to join my gurls this thursday then!! ahaha he promised to give me a ride!! *hugs*

Let's just enjoy the end of the entry with another vainpot picture of mine. =) *winks*

p/s: Missing fishie who'll only be home on the 14th =( . Wait!! Darn, ain't 14th = Thursday? *prays hard* BEBE STILL WANTS TO CLUB!!!

2006-12-08T07:55:00.000-08:00

AHH LUO QIAN !! ahaha u wanted me to update so badly that u didnt mind if i annoy u wif fishie's stuffs!! hahaha lub u babe!

Days have been pretty moderate lately. Nothing much, except the fond i grew towards him has increased on a rather slow basis. It doesn't mean anything negative, for being on a slow track but I guess I really needed more time to know him more. It's a good thing to actually have someone who you can count on, and be there for me whenever I needed him. Perhaps, it is just me for I sometimes find myself so lost in this maze of love.

I am still naive, I want things to be as perfect as it could. I want assurance, security and definitely time to understand him more. In addition, most of the guys that I've met previously were all flirters, where by then I seriously do not find myself having the interest or faith in any guys already.

OH WELL...i still consider myself as single =) San san is back by this Sunday and I so can't wait to see her!! DAHLINGS!!! *wei leng and tammie* we gotta plan something for christmas eve!! perhaps 4dates out for a dinner at some nice place?? how about that? DISCUSS AND PLAN THIS AIGHT!!! muaks..

2006-11-29T20:16:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was argh...TIRING!

Woke up extra early and the surgery was 12nn. Simon was urging me for the favor, while I was nervous over the surgery. ANyway, I'm 70% satisfied only. =( oh well..the outcome actually changes within a month.

Got back from KayElle by 6, occupied myself with petty stuffs-online, eat, sleep, walk around, dream, tv, toilet- Simon and Daniel waited for hours before I could get to them. The tix for the movie, Colic that fishie bought was at 11.45pm and I was still at home when it was 11.20pm. But I don't blame him, the boy only slept at 7am.

Met up with Simon at MingTien and heck Simon hyped up *may be I was stunningly hot* mwuahha, he couldn't stop teasing fishie. Darn Malufying weih. The movie is cool, go watch it =)

p/s: I need to lose another 3.8kgs argh..I wanna get a tattoo, haven't pierce my navel and my nose yet..

miss ya dahlings! Hon Lin, Ken, Zhi Hao, Sue Lyn, Maow Jun are all back!! SAN SAN!! still waitin for you =)

2006-11-28T18:34:00.000-08:00

Sorethroat is back to hunt me down =( the FLu is not giving in too! darn it..

I soooo Want My life to be weLl SecurEd by MeaNs, I want overloaded money, A ricH bf, a Car oF my Own, a WondErfuL ResuLt, a DeviLliSh Body, a PerFect FacE, a BuNch oF CuteYs as My SiDe DisTraction.

Am i That demaNding?! grrr~

i'Ll B out for a MiNor SurgEry laTer at 12nn..it'S low at RisK bt i'M heLLuva NerVouS!!

i'Ve BeeN woRRyiN BouT siMoN latEly..simon, please stay the same no matter what. *prays hard for the best outcome*

NotiCed Something yesterday whiCh also maDe me stay WidE awaKe..
#doEs someoNe's Past teLls us somthing about that person in particular?
#caN we juDge someoNE basEd on theiR history?
#Are MostlY guy'S/All GuyS are liaRs?

The QuestioNs kEpT ruNNiNg thru' My miNd..of all sudden, i just don't feel like seeing fishie anymore. It's like I SO don't want to find out if he's just another faker or a liar.

ARGH~ i'll be seeing him tonight for the new ghost movie, Collic . No idea how if i could just act normally while seeing him. *Sniff*

San San is also one of my worries. Gurl, please come back fast...I need you here and you need me NOW!!!

p/s: HAPPY FEET IS A FANTASTIC MOVIE..gurls..you all just gotta love it~

2006-11-27T11:12:00.000-08:00

Random Note: The way I looked the night I went out with fishie for the first time...

Ahh, lately I've been doing kinda good except for the sorethroat and the flu..Thanks a bunch to my dahlings, Tammie and Wei Leng and fishie.

Sandy, a closefriend of mine before she transferred to KDU, msged me online the other day. She sounded upset and needed a listener. Apologized to me that she haven't been appreciative but she'll be one from that day onwards.

I miss her dearly and that I believe when one is down and harmless, he/she deserves a second chance and she is always welcome back to my life again. =) *hugs*

Tammie and I got bored waiting for Wei Leng siu cheh that night in Maison that we've decided to do some short skit but err, ahahah maybe next time. WE yawned few times, mind u! ahahah our acting skills r too good to be true!

I never knew gurls outing could be so much fun! We danced like there were no tmrw, and guess what? I've lost to their stamina! ahaha These two gurls are like high on drugs or what lol..where the hell they get their stamina from!

Tammie girly got tipsy I guess, cuz she kissed me twice that night..awwww My virgin lips to a girl , was finally given to tammie dearie..ahahah muaks to u too!!

I'm glad to have you both in my life. yeah. Cry Bitches! i'm loving u all with ALL MY HEART! you gurls light my night up!! Though we are distance wise apart, one in Kepong, one in Cheras while I'm stranded all the way here in Shah Alam. You both never fail to put up a smile on my face and I get crazier whenever I'm around you gurls.

Believe me, you don't nid the whole world to be with you when there are a few whom you know, would personally stand up for you when the sky crumbles down!

A picture which shows how over exhausted we were the night after clubbing! haha. Simon, he has a nice smile but always stoned around infront of the camera lens! Oh boy..he's also another friend who have been a great listener most of the time! He, as vain as me, lame and farnie whenever he could, the only one whom I could say outloud to, "I'm not the blurrest one!!" Simon is a wonderful friend =)

On a random stuff, Fishie and I got sick on the same day. He'll be leaving to Phuket right after he finishes his finals on the 5th! damnn...nevermind..San San is coming back on the 10th...I can WAIT! muaks!

I know, this entry might sound corny but what the heck, ahaha i'm being appreciative too okay! lurve u guys heaps!

p/s: End of story, now 3 of u! better take me out for a beautiful dinner or smthing! =)

2006-11-25T11:16:00.000-08:00

Wei Leng a.k.a Bell =) ahahah Final total kg's lost, it's 6.4Kgs not 6 anymore!! mwuahahahaha~

Darn happy but was also fcking pissed at fishie yesterday. Don't shoot me first gurls..Now, I know we've planned this clubbing thingy fcking long ago and yeahh i lurve u gurls. Fishie sms-ed me later at night yesterday after we finished karaoke-ing, that he had nothing to do. Silly me, asked if i shld jst stickwit him and I sorta thought of going out with him isntead of clubbin. Took me fcking long to decide. Simon knew!! he saw me doing the weird sounds lol, grumbling, complaining and yet, not making any decision. To club wif the gurls, or ot wif him.

I called if he wanted to join, waited at home and thr a sms from him, asking whr am i. 'Brilliant'. HE is suppsed to tell me if he wanna join me or not and things went sucky when he replied smthing which made me sounded as if I was using him to drive me around. Provoked me like hell! Gurls..learnt my lesson. i'll Go OUT WIF OUR PLANS NO MATTER WHOS STOPPING MY WAY!

This morning, he smsed. Being the softy, I went soft hearted and went out with him today. HAHA. Out of 3things i grumbled in the sms that I was starving, I had 2 of them already. Changed his hardtrance CD to RNB CD. YEAH i was the siu jeh for the day.

Nw, i'm having sorethroat and it sucks like hell. Pamperings sure nice =)

p/s: MAISON is HAWT. I HAVENT try Bed yet =(

2006-11-24T07:15:00.000-08:00

Crazy NighT!!! first time at maison and I'm LOVING IT!!! had the craziest night ever with my dahlings! went in with Ming Wei and his friends, well fishie's friends too

Maison Is a Right PLace to hunt for CUTEYS!!! i'm serious. we enjoyed all the desperados trying to make in the way to us, try harder next time guys!

Tammie baby picked me up from Pyramid then we left to Kei Tak Sik for dessert. Waited for Wei Leng til we were yawning in the car haha.

Note: Wei Leng..u r fckin thin enuf!! u dn't nid to lose more weight alrites!!!

Fishie picked me up after 2am. Dropped me home safely after listening to his lame jokes and singing again. *hugs*

Infact, jst got back from redbox with Simon, Felix, Yin Kai, Daniel and others. Ate at Asia cafe then here I am. Later might either out to clubbin at Bed with the Dahlings and the new guys or jst out with fishie for a mvie or wht *if he didnt ditch me to go zouk*, or i might as well just stay in the house. hrmm.......

2006-11-22T09:54:00.000-08:00

My hands get cramp early in the morning or when its late at nights. Wht the hell is going on? Am I getting old? ><

Visited Aunt today, she looked fine and I'm referring to the modest way of saying 'fine' as she is still as fragile and weak the last time I saw her. Now, I see some medication side effects too. I wish she would get better and I beg for some God's mercy to give her some willpower to go on this ordeal.

Tammie and Esther's plan for tmrw would be heading to Times Square at 2smthing or 3pm for karaoke session and night time at Maison with Wei Leng. Ming Wei might be thr as well. One problem, I nid transportation back. Not sure who could send me back hrmm..I miss the gurls so much... argh

Fishie had his finals today. He didnt say much, just rubbish he uttered.

I don't know why, but I feel like puking whenever I see 'dai chou' ahaha sudah jelak..it's like i'm bored of food nowadays. I get hungry really fast but I have no cravings towards anything. I've cut down snacks and junks and tidbits off my life. I'm soo off the limit now huh? hhaha but if tht could make me lose weight back to how skinny i was last time..ahaha I wouldnt mind hehe

cheerios everyone!
p/s: loves san san who's coming back on the 10th of DECEMBER.

2006-11-21T11:18:00.000-08:00

U knw whts the feelin of accompanying someone til late night?

It's TIRING...my eyes dozing off...oh well...fishie is searching info for his finals tmrw hrmm..

i'm dozing off...i'm dozingg offf.....i'm DOOOHZIIINNN OFFF.....*yawns*

2006-11-21T01:24:00.000-08:00

helluwwwwww~ I'm worn out! lol

Basically, I was out the whole day yesterday..dropped by at One U with the siblings, had our lunch at Wong Kok Char Chan Teng..then 2nd stop to Pyramid and lastly to Subang Parade..Tht's friggin 3places in a day!

Wait..after we got back, mum was watchin tv while dad was sleeping. NO Dinner THEN! oh my...then fishie came to the rescue lol. Took me to Seri Kembangan to this cafe known as 'Gasoline'. The decor thr was pretty cool ahaha some sort of combination of jap *the seatings on the floor and the lil table* and wall painted dark colours and decorated with fake trees and spider webs..gosh lol..He changed to his car b4 dropping me back home..and thr I went, seriously almost had an heart attack in his car lol..

DAHLINGSS!!! they have all gone crazy! lol i jst got to knw all those crazy plans they both planned from wed to sat! dinners and clubbings in diff places..my oh my..lol this is soooo gonna be the BOMB or the highlight of November aye?

btw..i get hungry easily nowadays..no idea why..but some say I've lost weight. >< I've been eating more but I've lost weight? ahahahaha how cool is tht!!

GUrLS..pls dress up sexily this fri..we're gonna be the hottest chiqs in the club aights! theme: SEXAY! muaksss

2006-11-18T22:27:00.000-08:00

BEING TAGGED BY DEAR LENGLENG

Four jobs I would stink at:
1. dentist. can't give a shit to patients who come in with bad breath and ugly tinted teeth *no offence*
2. chauffeur. yeah i think they'll get me fired within 24hrs.fckin bad with directions
3. banking mgmt. i thinkthe bank will bankcrupt ahahaha
4. chef. never thought i have any talent in cooking. well i do feel i'm num1 cook for myself personally

Four pretend nicknames I'm making up for myself:
1. BeBe *its real..got story wan laaaa, not cuz it sounds kawaii!!*
2. ah Bee
3. local babe *ain't korean or jap or mix parentage!*
4. emo queen *its true i'm just gud in exagerrating

Four movies I have watched over and over (and did not fall asleep):
1. Stephen Chow movie Kungfu Soccer
2. tokyo drift
3. talladega
4, old chinese comedian movies la

Four things I love to do on weekends:
1. online
2. movies
3. clubbing
4. yumcha

Four alcoholic beverages I've enjoyed:
1. i cant rmb the name
2. i'm bad wif names
3. told yea i'm forgetful!
4. seriously..i cant rmb >< kill me now

Four celebrities I would go on a Big Date with:
1. Jay Chou.
2. Edison Chen *suprisingly he's cute at times apart from looking monkeyish
3. the kid from highskul musical..cant recal his name but he's cuteee awww
4. Alexander Wong

Four things I could not live without (excluding the essentials):
1. friends
2. laptop
3. w8001
4. CASH!!!

Four of my favourite foods, whom I'd like to bon appetite with:
1. SuSHI high fives wl* dahlings who loves sushi as well..fushen, wl, fishie
2. spaghetti and pastas, chs friends
3. mum's cooking, family
4. fastfood/ cheesey cakes, simple dates

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. LAngkawi, with ss n frankie =(
2. S'pore for the zoukout in sentosa
3. Friends place..anywhr i wanna have sleepover!
4. anywhr except home..anyone wanna keep me? =)

Four people I'm mercilessly tagging:
1. LLQ!!!
2. Mie
3. Cyndi gurl
4. Simon

________________________________________________________

Alrites, where should I get started? hrmm Oh, yesterday was heck fun. Like Livon said, I deserve a day out with Fishie lol..some pamperings after all the crying I did ><

Wasn't planned, but I ended up going out wif fishie for a movie yesterday. I tried to book Death Note but it was full so I made a major mistake, to go for an unknown movie , 'Boo'. Fcking lame. People. Don't ever go for unknown low cost production movies. HAHA. He collected the tix n picked me up later then. For ur info, it's a horror movie but everyone in the cinema was laughing their asses off thinking how silly to pick tht movie ahahah. Dine at Secret recipe. Dropped me home but upon reaching, Han Hong called asking for yumcha.

Great. fishie had to drop me back to Subang mcd drivethru ahaha. han hong 'collected' me n we headed back to pyramid, kimgary to yumcha. I just lurve it when it comes to meeting old friends. All the memories and laughs. We headed to Hong Lip's new place near CHS. omfg! the house is fckin huge and huge and empty. People imagine u can hear your echoes.

Reached home around 2.40am. fishie was out to get himself some food by then and he insisted buying me food for he didnt wanna me to get gastric. SO yea, While waited for Bro to come back from yumcha *he forgotten his keys* i waited til 3smthing for him. yea. felt bad cuz he saw my ugliest look eva! the worn out face with a huge pimple on my cheek in early morning.

Anyhow. I seriously had a good time meeting old friends and a new guy friend, fishie. =) n for being sweet =).

**Can't wait to be out to clubbing next week! i nid it badly......

2006-11-16T22:09:00.000-08:00

I jst spent rm300 yesterday without the intention to shop at first, but whalahh..ahaha i cannot supress my stress anymore. got myself 2 green dresses, a sling bag from quick silver and a flip flop from FOC. yeah ain't branded but wht the heck..those from Espirit and ROxy are really simple but cost like 50 or 60. the one i got from FOC is kinda cute, its pink and it looks more like a sandle than a flat flip flop to me. =)

watched james bond, and i must take back wht i said before this. I always thinks that the new JAmes Bond looks evil and fugly. sorry to say, but my oh my..it's rather interesting and his acting skills are really outstanding. pls, give him a chance like i did to prove that he's a talented man, round of applause to Daniel Craig

its eileens dearie bdae tonight, she's having a party at her place. damn it, she haven't reply which house is she having it. i feel liek drivin to pyramid and see wht i could get her for her bdae. oh well...i can't wait to get out from the hse.. and just have fun n fun n fun! dahlings are coming back from aussie..it's cool =) can't wait to c them

anyhow..envy me..its hol time..=)

2006-11-10T20:43:00.000-08:00

As a mum in the making, what can i offer to my children in the years ahead?

* i'll be a wonderful CONSIDERATE mum who keeps myself update with my childrens development
* i'll listen first before i restrict them with my rules
* i'll give them the freedom that they want within certain boundaries
* i'll let them see the world , how it functions and not stop them because I simply love them!
* i'll comprehend whatever they might face, STRESS from peer pressure
-doesn't mean they rn't stress when they don't share or tell
* i'll be proud of who they are and not compare or tell jacka*s story
* i'll b a MUM whom everyone WANTS me to BE THEIRS!

pls..y can't thr b such a mum in the world...nvmind i'll make sure i'm the FIRST!

2006-11-09T05:38:00.000-08:00

FINALLY~ ahaha i'm done with EVERY SINGLE ASSIGNMENTS already! how overwhelming..=)

* I used to think u were cute when u manja me
* I used to smile just by listening to your voice
* I used to miss u eventhough I'm looking at u thru the webcam
* I used to crave for you wheneva I get hyper
* I used to get emo just because u dn't call or sms me
* I used to dream for I think about u too much
* I used to giggle alone thinking of ur kiddish hokkien slang

But it doesn't matter anymore, once hurt, forever remembered

On a lighter note, LANGKAWII!!! ss, frankie, looann, tammie n others from sunway coll r going to langkawi nxt sat and I SO WANNA JOIN THEM! dn't care hmpph!!!
I'll make sure I'll be a brand new me in few months time, don't get surprised! ehehe don't regret! mwuahahahahah*evil grins*

Oh well...I'm on HOLIDAYS ALREADY! and it's gonna be til February. I guess I'll b working maybe just freelance or parttime job. gotta earn some money!!

######## STOPPED########

ahaha This is so gonna be a long post but i'll try to make it short
i stopped blogging half way when I've decided to go to BarFlam with Ashley earlier..yea I just got home. It's 2.14am now

Turned Wei Leng down to Maison. I miss her but I couldn't get any to go KL wif me =( sorry dear!

Earlier Eric picked me up and few other chiqs b4 ending up at BarFlam. Met up with Ashley and so many other CHIQS!! ahaha the place is cool but potong steam ahaha it ended by 1am. More importantly, I had fun.

Tammie is not going to Langkawi , I guess I wont be going too then..Mum would be more pleased to hear that from me.

Sexay Back and Promiscuous Gurl reminds me of u, but i'm SO GONNA REPLACE THEM with other songs soon..with new guys in mind

2006-10-31T01:51:00.000-08:00

A WHolE New WoRlD- WhoLe NeW Me =)

Have u ever feel satisfied looking at yourself through the reflection of the mirror early in the morning?

Have you tried believing that people look at you for they envy you? no more else..

If your answers YES, i'd say welcome to my world as I've been feeling this way couple of days ago. Symptoms of SELF-OBSESSION. try me.

I feel good each time I wake up early in the morning, even if I had insufficient sleep

I feel GReat whenever I'm in my mini skirt and my tees, could be better wif make up too!

I feel happy around my college mates, laughing over my lame stories

I feel loved around my family, esp my elder bro who has been SOO SWEET to me lately

I feel overwhelmed when Jacko always greets me whenever I'm home, *pats jacko*

p/s: wl and mie found their new lovers while i'm here..blogging ahah

2006-10-26T04:08:00.000-07:00

holidays been fine..

was sick for the last two days, now i'm feelin better...whtmore revitalised!

everything is going back to normal i guess, i'm over wif the emo season already!

i might be gettin a tattoo!! weeeeeeeee~ this is something i wanna do for sometime already...whr shld i tattoo-ed it? hrmm ahahah i tot something simple and colour-less would be fine..

Wen asked me bout the vacation to Langkawi during the holidays end of this yr..sounds fun!! so wanna go for it...=)

Corde & Simon have been listenin to my grumbles for the past days...i guess they had enuf and its time for me to say a BIG THANK YOU TO THEM! muacks* corde, pls come back soon..dn't stuck in london for too long aye

Revelation this sat in mlcc? dn't think I'm going since i got presentation to do on mon...
i'm lookin forward for the zoukfest this dec in S'pore!!

Shen n I got 'hooked up' lol, u'll soon see us grabbin each others ass and smoochies around lol!!
tlking bout tht, i forgotten to sms him today eeek ><

Anyhow,I'm doing fine..

i miss everyone of u....i can see the light at the end of the tunnel...just a few more steps b4 i reach =) muacks!!

2006-10-23T08:02:00.000-07:00

*stucked wif the song, 'All that i Got' by Fergie*

Click Here *for lyrics*

Sorethroat is killing me..it's as if the knife is stucked in my throat horizontally..i cant even talk

One of the senior from chs asked me out couple of times but i'm not in the mood

Wen been askin me out since like half yr ago or so but i havent find the exact time for him yet..'yea rite'

Aaron asked me out too but i dn't think its a gud idea..oh well, we'll see hw it goes if i happen to jst say yes

Wayne asked me to club the other day but i turned him down cuz he couldn't provide transportation home for me..><

I'M NOT TURNING THEM DOWN CUZ I'M STUCKED WIF HIM...

**i wish i know, and i do believe i'll b out like hw i used to be...**

currently, listening to looking glass - brandi you're a fine gurl *some 60's alike song..

currently, feeling oldies and nid to heal my sorethroat badly..

2006-10-22T00:17:00.000-07:00

Being BeauTifuL is Not EveryThiNg
it seems that what comes around, goes around..karma exists but now it exceeds my expectations..

THe Ol' Me
# never wanted a bf in specs, who vulgars, who drinks or smokes
# younger guys are just KIDS who can't possibly be spending much on me
# arrogant girl who doesn't give a shit in hurting guy's heart
# pretty much way too honest, but honesty is the best policy aye?
# guys are just a want, and i chose to not have them
# Big Bunch of cool friendly friends whom i weren't aware to question their sincerity
# naive eventhough the appearance contradicts

The Present Me
# so much fragile and softhearted
# who thinks too much, pessimistic
# trying to be realisitc which she doesn't buy the word 'dream+foreva love=reality'
# indulges in small petty things that sometimes, a waste of time
# smaller group of friends, anti-social
# being portrayed as wild eventhough its a lie
# the evil bebe takes over when she thinks having a bf is a must

seems that things aren't going too well for me..am i going thru a transition badly?
btw, i met up wif kiddo yest..he's cute and shy with sweaty n cold hands..

on a lighter note, i drove to pyramid wif kevin for movie this time..yeaa i handled the car on my own..
@Talladega is fantastic highly recommended!!
@ the Silk , ghost movie but more touching one =) not too bad
@ John Tucker must Die, GOSH JESSE METCALFE IS FRIGGIN CUTEEEE
@ The PResitige, BORING! DON't GO FOR IT!!

lastly, SELAMAT HARI RAYA AND HAPPY DEEPAVALI! muacks ~

Through the RaiN

2006-10-20T04:41:00.000-07:00

I'm Over with Assignments due this week..

Have 4 more due the week after holiday..

Weileng screwed me up for being emo *if ya know the reason y*

promises I made to her
* i'm not a freak, i'm not a paedophile
* i'll b alrite within no time, and out with guys at our age
* i'll Not get affected by kiddo
* i'll b wht i used to be..=)

yea..its ironic cuz i happen to bump into him today..i didnt know how but i spotted him from the opposite side of the shoplots, wasn't sure oh well..

i avoided..chicky me *teehee* ..
i'll put wl's words in mind

and of coursee...SHOPPINGSSS N VACATIONS N HUNKS!! here i come...wait for me
i'll b back right the commencement of my holiday on the 13th NOvember!!

me in denial

2006-10-17T12:03:00.000-07:00

3.01am

I can't SleeP.

i'M doNe wif AsSiGnmentS fOr Now..afTa SleEpLeSsNiteS

i NiD a REaL RiCh Brat To tAkE cArE oF mE.

I NiD a VaCatiOn BadLy..

maybe..afterall, it's u tht i want badly..=(

p/s: my only superman took my heart away and neva gave me back

life is like a never ending stairs

2006-10-13T01:20:00.000-07:00

ALERT!

I think we cannot run away from problems;we cannot avoid thinking that everything will be fine. At least, I don't think so. I'm annoyed with some people that I've met in life. Sometimes, I hope memories of them can be deleted off from my mind. Especially that someone, from my heart.

Please, I don't wish to find myself as an old spinster sitting all alone on a rocky chair looking miserably sad outside the window. Yet, I really want to promise myself that there will not be any space for that someone to fill in. My heart would be glad enough to just fill my family, friends and work in.

I get emo really quick nowadays. I'm wondering if my hormone has gone cuckoo again. At some point, my evil side would overtake me before I could do anything.

Evil bebe: I want to drink, smoke, out til late nights, get hook up wif some basta*ds who spends like there are no tmrw on me, vulgar-able and it'd be just me, myself and I!
Innocent bebe: I want to finish up my assignments and cope with my studies as much as I could, be a good girl, listens to parents, obedient naive lil gurl who just wanna have a life!

well..least I know the evil bebe gets more attention and more protected as everyone would know she's not mess-able! tho as innocent as she sounds, but she doesn't have a life, she gets hurt and she never really have someone who would care for her endlessly, apart from her family

bah..no more superman or kiddo for me. Guess I'll be alone again..hmmph!

Life

2006-10-11T07:16:00.000-07:00

Been rushing all assignments due fri and mon..nt done yet but i'm surviving =)

Nothing much happen but i'm praying really hard for my close aunt's recovery. Bless her *hugs*

Someone's done with his exam, now he's mine *yummylicious*

Looking forward this Sat, can't wait to be out wif tammie *muacks*

Everyone Take Care!

luckystars

2006-10-04T09:21:00.000-07:00

wish me luck tmrw...

my minds playing songs like London bridge, Promiscuous Gurl, Sexy Back, Buttons etc.

i guess its sending signals to me tht i nid to club badly =)

making moves while typing this heh..if tmrws a gud day, i bet i'll b grooving this weekend

btw,changed the layout..lurve the image of it..

p/s: miss ya *u knw who u r*

2006-10-02T11:02:00.000-07:00

took young bro to sushi king and for a movie 'rob-b-hood' yesterday at pyramid. the movie's hilarious! can't stop laughin thinking bout it.

later on, tammie picked us up and yea it's weird but oh well, kevin's still a kid, so i have to take him along with us. so 4 of us, tammie, ss, me and my bro stopped at asia cafe for pizzas! tammie's sooo in lurve with my bro that she kept tempting my bro with her sweets! ahaha then we went up to the highest floor for foosball considering the fact that i've not touched one for so long now..ahaha i bet my bro enjoyed to the max! followed by pool...cool! ahaha i was at red light status cuz i wasn't in a proper attire to play. ><>

one game of pool n we're done! stopped by A & W for drinks..ss nids love til he couldnt stop it even whn he's wif kevin! now my bro is so in love with him too! ahahah watched like 5 min of milotin's car racing at subang..

i nid a more exciting life! i so wanna leave this mess i've created to somewhr new..god, grant my wish and i'll b gud =) john the s'porean netfriend of mine already promised tht he'll tour my around if i make it to s'pore! great...zouk thr, wait for me =)

random thoughts

2006-09-29T23:51:00.000-07:00

just a random thought..

Q1. does physical appearance play a big part in attracting the opposite sex?

Q2. does geeky gurls get lesser boyfriends than the pretty ones?

Q3. are female's ASSET that important to men?

Q4. does the guys nid to look gud in order to be with pretty hot chiqs?

well..i think

A1. first impression always lasts longer than anyone could expect, which means if you have a FAB bod and a pretty face, you are most likely to be spotted by the hungry wolves already =)

A2. no. geeky gurls *no offence* are amazing. probably its the trend but it could be possible that at times, geeky gurls have MORE boyfriends than the pretty ones. hrmm...

A3. it depends. most probably, even the ladies have made themselves to believe that the asset we have is the extra BONUS points than the otherwise. BIG BOOBS definitely make good distractions. whether or not the guys are looking at you cuz they think u look -ooh-la-la- or thinking crazily about ur cup size, it only matters cuz they are already looking at your BOOBS. congrats to the ladies out thr who thinks flaunting ur 'asset' = more attention. uh-huh..

A4. surpisingly NO. although girls tend to look for hunks as the same goes to the guys, but we gurls are more to the sensitive side. we dnt look on the surface *physically* but from within. i didnt mean guys dont do tht, its just that gurls gets emo easily. i lurve what tammie's nick the other day on msn..
"guys can love their gfs for love, while gurls can have sex cuz of love"
how true can that be?

on a lighter note, ahaha mum and kevin said my boobs shrinked! my bras loosen and i look like i'm flat chested when i'm in my baby tees. goddamnit. does that mean, i'm ASSETLESS already? doesnt go balance with my bootylicious me anymore.lol alrite i'm being lame..

anyway,have a nice day to everyone! cheerios!

back to car phobia

2006-09-29T08:41:00.000-07:00

**me havin dinner alone at MCD earlier** ahaha nahs, i was wif my younger bro

i did something outrageous today. i DROVE OUT to pyramid with my younger bro for dinner =) it was something tht no one would believe esp to mum cuz i always have this fear of driving. proved tht they were wrong, i guess i said it too soon =(

while parking the car back into the house, i unintentionally scrape off the back door's paint, it was DARN OBVIOUS! i freaked myself out cuz this is something i shouldnt have any problem at! i've been parking n reversing my house cars for quite sometime already. that's y it neva hit my mind tht i should be having such problem. too confident only make things worst =(

SAD N SAD N very dissapointed with myself. the whole journey out to pyramid back n forth was so okay but i could actually scratch my bro's baby within seconds whn i tried parking his car.

bro did not screw me up, instead he comforted me and whalaa~ UNEXPECTED! i tot i'd be screwed tightly to the wall tmrw whn he's back ><

anyway, tht's all for nw..cheers everyone!

20th Bdae

2006-09-24T03:15:00.000-07:00

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO CAME YESTERDAY! *bebe gives everyone a big tight hug and kisses*

phew~ bet this entry gonna be a long long one, seriously lol =)
i'm feelin all happy and joyful, thanks for making my day babes and hunks...

i was out yesterday to my first stop, pyramid that is. met up with huan sin, carmen and june, yi hsian and melvin, and winnie. they were all looking fabulous and heck blissful! it's been a long time since the last we all actually met huh? bdae's always a good reason for gathering wee~

sadly eileen couldnt make it! urgh~ gurl i'm supposed to crash over at ur place for sex and the city movie marathon and some booze aight! anyway, sweet simon came over to pyramid to pick me up cuz i was pretty stucked in pyramid =)

next stop was oasis ,bangsar. fushen reached the earliest,thx darl. then, yamwoon and cheehong, wei leng, cyndi and weng, swee sum came. wei leng was the bomb cuz she came in lookin dazzling with a bouquet of flowers. yay! it's for me!! thankx gurl..*muacks

dinner was okay even though the food weren't that tasty. eww~ wht matters was who were there with me =) someone asked, eh how come ur bdae no cake wan? uh, ahaha i gave some lame reason. later on, cyndi kept askin me to sit down at my place but i was too bz camwhorin with yamwoon and others! ahahah finally the moment i jst sat down, a so called choc fudge cake came from nowhr and everyone just started singing the bdae song! this is wonderful, *sniff, tears of joy*

ss then was my boyfriend for the night, ahaha looann! just one night saje laa..tak apa kan ahaha yearps, he was basically the one who ordered my food and me kacau-in him all night..next stop was thai club. kevin came later to bangsar and we went together. met up with hrmm benjamin and another few more guys whom i dnt rmb their names! teehee*

i was surrounded by bachelors again eh? least, they r entertaining and i had great time with everyone of them. went to yumcha and ss dropped me home. poor him, while at kesas, we rammed over a big metal at the fast lane. only to realized it must b from the accident *few cars parked at the emergency lane* his rim got spoilt and tyre got punctured. ><>

i was out from 1smthing til 6am the next day...tiredness yg tak terhingga...ss car is still parked outside my hse now..bet hemust be sleepin still..anyhow, i wanna thank everyone who made an effort to call, sms, came to my dinner and lunch and for taking me out. muaks muaks!

lastly, thx kiddo too..lurve u! study hard too ..

read.paused.thoughts.

2006-09-22T10:49:00.000-07:00

i just turned 20 like 1hr and 45min ago. thanks for those who had wished me. now bear with me as i'm getting emotional and paranoid again.

the number of wishes decreased so badly that i was wondering if i place any importance to anyone. there were no calls. thnks. there were barely few smses. thnks. there were less than a handful of online wishes. thnks. most of all..they came from people whom i spend lesser time with. this is weird. does this mean, i'm nothing to my closefriends? or i was the one thinking that they are, when they didn't all along?

to me, i treasure friendships alot. unlike boyfriends. uh-huh i just want to have a bunch of trustable people to back me up when i'm down. that's all. i never thought this could be harder than i thought of!

parents up on genting. dad didnt even know that my bdae's today. well i dn't blame him cuz he's always one, never updated with my birthdates. my bro was out n yearps he jst sms me like 2am..younger bro only knew after i told him bout it. what's with everyone nowadays?!

luckily while bloggin this, jackie called. unexpectedly! he made me laugh nonstop..sweet* thnks babe! muaks! on the contrary, i'm still grateful for those who had wished me..thanks darlings!

may i have a memorable and happy 20th bdae ever!
**i wanna love myself more**

balance

2006-09-21T10:48:00.000-07:00

i'm a libra, sometimes virgo. so, obviously i should have both characteristics and personality aye? libra's soo much on balance but i'm not..virgo's soo feminine and intelligent, but heck i'm so far from tht description!

September's my fav mth as i consider everyday as my birthday =)
oh well...i know i've been slackin so much that i'm pretty lost with my studies right now. esp DDP..i prefer going online, not knowin wht i did but i spent hrs on it til its late and sleep right after tht..

PMS sucks! its pretty unfair y cant the guys have it instead of us! i was so in a badshape and badhair day this mornin..i woke up feelin sucky enuf til i saw myself infront of the mirror..heh NO ONES GONNA SEE ME IN THT WAY EVER! ahaha i had stomachcramp the whole 2nights and massive headache. my heartbeat raised like it was gonna explode anytime soon. hence, i skipped class..thx LQ, lurve yea *hugs

checked my blood pressure, n i'm SO in trouble cuz aunt said mines so much lower from the standard ones. 'great', if i get in and my medical report is a piece of shit, they ain't gonna hire me! ><

kiddo...whr r u....i'm starting to miss u already
**miss the way u share ur dreams with me
**the way u would call me for hrs jst to talk to me
**how u'd tease me by speakin hokkien
**when you try to make me happy with ur funny faces
**webcam times, us exchanging written notes by stickin it to the webcam!
**the way u manja-ed
**when u r seriously just a call away..
**to complain to u bout my silly pms, my neverending grumbles, and u'd jst listen and tried to console me

the lists jst go on and on, *sniff* i'm gettin emo again, fcuk..

toddles!

2006-09-19T11:20:00.000-07:00

wei leng's done with her cramps and now its my bloody turn!

fcuk. i hate this emo-ness.
cramps, go away...screw others, not me!

doodoodeeedeedummdumm

2006-09-18T19:36:00.000-07:00

DDP mag is due next mon! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ oh well, i still wanna complete everything by this fri..

i'm turnin 20 in 5days!! 5days b4 saying gudbye to my teen years..=(

probably will just ask closefriends for dinner smwhr, booked few of them and i just counted, i already called 20 of them! 'small group of friends' ><

my plan to clubbin will be postponed to next week then, since i wanna spend time completing my assignment.

interview so far was great, hopefully the result will be a gud one!

i miss kiddo...=)
'let's get naughty and dirty tonight"

Sepet's reflection

2006-09-14T05:14:00.000-07:00

earlier, i found Yasmin Ahmad's blog. for ur info, she's the directer and the cript writer for the local movie, 'Sepet'

you guys could visit her at www.yasminthestoryteller.blogspot.com.
what i can say was, while readin her entries regarding the movie, Sepet..somehow it just 'BOOM' strikes me in the heart..

i dropped her a comment..here's it..i copied it over here..

hey how r u? alrites, i came across ur page thru afriend of mine, til i started reading most of ur entries..i could say sepet is a wonderful and a memorable one for me, personally. i was at tht time, in love with a caucasion guy, muslim. my heart was shattered when both of us wasn't able to prolong our rlsp, mainly prior to races/religion differences. i'm chinese and he's a muslim. i rmb there was a preview at starlight cinema nt long after the break up, it happened that we were at the same place, same time, few metres away from each other as he was with his friends, while i was with mine. the saddest thing was we were 'so near, yet so far, so far yet so near'. i think watchin this movie is one of the most excellent local production ever. keep it up! a very gud way to somehow educate us, the value of life is nt just based on limitations (cultures, beliefs, norms etc) but the freedom to accept and learn. =)

what a feeling...=)

2006-09-12T10:38:00.001-07:00

i have time to update my blog but never to find any for my assignments. i feel like drowning myself already..><

oh well..answered every questions given for PR2 assignment and did some research on DDP mag purposes. i jst read the IMC article regarding embryo and stem cells. gudness, this is terrific cuz i've total no idea what is the article about! greatness *smacks herselfto the wall*

been eating alot, nibbling tidbits like rabbit, even faster! ahaha my hands as fast as the speeding car, grab the junkand start consuming nonstop til i feel nauseous to eat again. oh well..tht only lasts for few min b4 i start searchin for other food in the fridge!

the interview's this sunday and i'm still eating!!! someone tie me like nuts from tanjung rambutan so i wouldnt eat again!! thankx to pressure fallin from above! ahahah life's been great..i want a better one!!

so my 20th bdae this yr would be memorable one!
-a bdae bash for my own with my friends
-meet ups with my every single friend whomi've neglected most of the time

here comes the big wishlists!
-kick my younger bro to oversea in the future, *note if only he's gud academically*
-opens a restaurant for mummy, as a suprise, she sorta know bout it already damn..
-neverending cash so i could pamper myself nonstop with spas, adventures, travelling and so much more!!
-do some small investment like buyin a small flat or condo..

ahaha i wont forgetbout u, kiddo =)
we'll go to aussie together and i'll b workin while u'll b studyin =)

*back to reality*
sobs* ireally wish i could get this...WL and kiddo knws wht i'm talkin about..
wish me luck aye!! *smoochies to everyone i love*

2006-09-12T10:38:00.000-07:00

solemn

2006-09-10T06:25:00.000-07:00

graduation was 'great', unlike what i've expected..

how is it like when of all sudden, things around you just turned greyish and nothing seems perfectly fine to u? when the shield you've built to protect yourself from falling, in the end, broke in pieces and the arrow just hit you in the heart? it strikes your heart and anchored it right to the very bottom of your heart? indeed, it's very hurtful and horrid!

apparently, i encountered those complicated feelings earlier on my graduation day. total messed up! i understand that people cannot reach consent of certain ideas and thoughts of ours. but why? on this day, where i really looked forward to? he said i was wasting his time and cash studying..tht i'd be nothing w/o a degree if i choose otherwise..where my decision will not bring future at all..

he let it all out. i was shocked and speechless, listenin to smone i care so much to actually put me on an unwanted situation. i couldn't say much as i really want him to see my point of having such decision. plus, not like i ain't gonna earn more to lighten his burden..perhaps, its a step faster than others n i dont blame him in a way for saying those stuffs. oh well.... it really did affect me so much for the whole day..

really worn out, mentally or physically for the whole day out as i've said earlier..
sighs*

banana's good for health ><

2006-09-07T20:44:00.000-07:00

day's fine..i have 3more assignments to do..=(
graduation's this sunday, at kl convention centre woots*

goodieee goodieee toodieee~
received a better news which i've no idea i'd b selected lol

still a secret to everyone nw except wei leng..she knows it well =)

was on the phone wif kiddo the other night, splendid..hours n hours of talkin isn't gud!!

both of us haven't had a good sleep at all!!

anyways..best of luck to me yay aye ayyy!!
muacks everyone!!

feelin of being followed

2006-09-06T09:26:00.000-07:00

i still think that no one's life is more interesting and exciting than mine! hmmph..

i'm a terrible driver, and if it wasn't because of mu younger bro, i wouldn't drive. everyone was out, leaving me behind with kevin in the house with elder bro's car and mums car. i'd choose bro's cuz he drives a vios while mum's an innova ><

it was fun actually to drive without complaints made and pressure from mummy =) dropped kevin to skul and i came home for my IMC assignment. done commenting, and i tot , ' oh y not i just go out for a drive'

WRONG DECISION!! i droved out and i realized there was a car following me. it was black proton, with all indians lookin evil!! garh~ got so freaked out and it was terrible...i wish i could turn into superman or wonder woman and kick their balls outta them! damn it..anyway to cut things short...i finally escaped heheeh...sped so fast back to my place and lock myself within the house!

tell me, hw can this happen to an ordinary innocent young lady like me? =p

i'm soooooo INNOCENT!!! c'mon....uh-huh? alrite i'm jst crapping =)

alrites, off to bed i go..weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
nights everyone..
i miss u..=)

bleed

2006-09-03T01:31:00.000-07:00

fri was my PR1 assignment due date. it was half way done a night b4. thx to mum for forcin me!! argh~ brought me up to Genting so i could take care of kevin...and thr i went, with my laptop;hoping i could finish my assignment on time. Wonderful! every cafes were full house! roamed around and see strangers walkin around in their lala world..

skipped fri class but gotta hand in my assignment on time..thx shwu!! love u!! fri night i was out to loft.. hrmm with melvin * or melwyn?* n his friends..whom i couldnt recall any of their names at all..i'm soo terrible at names!! forgive me aight!

didnt enjoy it as much as i tot of..got myself alil tipsy and left early cuz i really wanted to leave tht moment.. some thoughts jst hit me like 'i'm not supposed to be here!!'

was supposed to be at poppy yest, so i could see kelly again after so long..and initially, alex was supposed to pick me up which he didnt in the end as he didnt go to loft..then i got eileen and the bf to pick me up and go together...BUT this time..unavoidable..parents a big barrier!! stopped me from goin out cuz it was gettin late...><

this mornin..i cut my finger tips wif a knife..GREAT~ my life is jst so interesting and suprising, eh? bleeded like hell, only stopped like after 4bloody cottons!! sick wif all this...

oh well.... i still have my 'drug' with me..kiddo, always a sweetie to me =) miss u already...=(

2006-09-02T03:19:00.000-07:00

updates

2006-08-27T02:59:00.000-07:00

fri night
-was out with tammie and ss, yumcha at asia cafe
-met with wei leng for awhile b4 she left with her friends to clubbin
-bumped into michelle, a netfriend whom i sorta got lost for a sec
-saw zhi yi, my high school friend after so long! yeaaa leavin back to ukraine again!
-went to kimgary, chilled out with tammie then she drove me home =)

sat night
-left to main campus for the cultural extravaganza organized by the juniors
-weileng couldnt make it so went with peak poh and adeline
-great show, left early tho
-saw syed, my primary school friend! ahhhhhh~ 'gosh! i only see u on friendster only...' he said
-peak poh sweetly dropped me home eventhough she was drivin alone from klang

**checklist**
RFP done
PR assignment 1 -on the way to finish line =p
PR Assignment 2 -haven't even started it =(
DDP Magz - goshh, haven't even look into it =X
IMC MEdiaForum - OMFG!! dnt find time for it yet..

i'm in the biggest trouble shittest shtty eva.....NID HELP!

**really wish i could make it to s'pore...earn more and not nid to worry about problems..

'i believe i can fly, i believe i can tough the sky...'

not-an-enthusiasts

2006-08-24T21:44:00.000-07:00

currently listenin to M2M, Pretty Boy =)

always reminds me of those days back in high school when the song was so popular and highly publisized and promoted EVERYWHERE! young teens was soo in love with this song and the guys drooled over them. i was only form 1 or 2, with my dark black silky long hair tied in plaits and STILL VERY FAIR. hoho..always known as the 'jap heritage or jap look alike' ahem..i'm proudly to say i'm a local hot babe ahaha =p

anyway, i jst can't avoid or runaway from the piled up assignments! it's really a tough course but i'm really trying hard to cope with it. hrmm...here i am, still here in the lab, multi-tasking (doing this, friendstering and my RFP assignment) wanna go out badly =( dnt think i'm going for my gf's bdae celebration at puchong tonight, oh well, phui sien!! happy 20th bdae! love yea! booked two tix for wei leng and i on sat. an event organized by the juniors!

off i go.....i love my blog right now cuz of the layout!! i'm messed up so wht? ppl still love me for who i am! bleuks*

i miss kiddo alot....he and his dota heh!

2006-08-23T08:35:00.000-07:00

silence

2006-08-21T08:08:00.000-07:00

Silence,
I bring no harm,
Hear me speak
and let the words make its way..

Silence,
I'm here seekin for love,
but i'm doubful and ever lost
Please answer me, my mighty oh God

Silence,
U let us feel,
With our sincere heart
But why is there still sadness and make us endure such pain?

Silence,
I do not adhere,
Never the least to see the whole picture
Why, why, why....

Silence,
Now listen to what i say
As i give u feelings,
So you could be tougher and stronger,
As i give u pain,
So you would be patient and think..

Stand and rise, child..
Look beyond,not fall apart..
Be courageous and love..
So others can be as who u are today...

**a piece of thought i have so i could be better in who i am today =)
enjoy..

loves.

2006-08-14T09:19:00.000-07:00

i love my family : daddy,mummy, gor gor and kevin

i love my dog, jacko..

i love wei leng & tammie

i love my college life now

i love my room and my bed cuz it's clean everyday now

i love myself and am self obsessed =p

feaR mOmEnTs

2006-08-02T01:34:00.000-07:00

It’s Wednesday already, I’ll be away to Genting this Saturday with Corde and Leen. Ahh~ I do need a break from all the mess that I’ve created. I’m hopeless and tired. Got a huge big fight with my bro. I let every breath I have in me out and dispersed in the air. I lost my tantrums to him. I could not take it anymore. Well oh well; what’s said and done doesn’t matter anymore.

Assignments are already killing me. It’s only the first week of degree and it’s all pilling up higher and higher!! Find life’s tougher than before. Hadn’t I realized it in the first place? Grrr~

I want to celebrate my birthday this year with all my friends.. I want to see how’s my friends doing when we’re all busy with our lives. Wei leng suggested BBQ party at a pool side..ahhh fantastic! Wei leng and Tammie will be helping me out. Hopefully, things will go smoothly.

I’m tired..off to bed now!

college!

2006-07-26T20:27:00.000-07:00

hey hey everyone! i'm back to college already! i feel more warm and happier this time than before. probably, got abit sick with college life after spending the last 2.5yrs stucked in a business building which do not offers fun enviromented life but more to a dreadful monotonous one. with all the conflicts and some unwanted memories there, i could barely want to pursue my degree in the same old boring place anymore.

oh well, i'm back here again afterall. met many new faces and new friends too! the class has increased like one fold, from probably 14students reachin up to 28students altogether. wonderful, isn't it?

everything was cool like now they have the newly built labs mainly for masscommers known as the media hub, seeing new faces everywhr, the building's now filled with students and more students; except for the fees!! gosh~ previously, my fees were mainly paid in installments. yet, it is no longer approved to do so now. ridiculous, ain't it? the 1.5yrs fees has costs my dad so much! money sucker! so much of a way in getting us there to nowhr! lol *taylor's tagline=we'll get u thr*

apart from all tht mess, i'm living life to the fullest. tammie's coming over tmrw , and i'll be up to genting this weekend and next weekend too! ahhhh~ tht's wht i call, LIFE lol..

b4 i end, BRANDON ROUTH IS FRIGGIN CUTE!!! i'm IN LOVE ALREADY~ *drools over him*

you.

2006-07-17T06:51:00.000-07:00

Reminiscing...
you made me smile,
you made me think better,
you made me feel,
and nevertheless, u made me who i am today..

but the inner you made me teared,
the inner you made me no one,
the inner you made me irrational,
and nonetheless, i am not someone i used to be..

The Past..
i used to love the old you,
used to care unconditionally just for you,
never once to have my eyes on others but you,
had my attention and love all with you..

but you again, tore my heart into pieces,
you again! made me sinked to the very bottom,
you again! i would then lost control and broke down in tears
no one else but you..to have my dreams to be with you shattered!

The Present
you now would put up a smile in me,
you would message me now and then
you now would see me in laughters
and most of all,i have changed because of you..

i then recalled those days we spent together,
i'd be sitting at a corner trying to remember the forgotten ones
i would now try to mend the pieces of my broken heart
i fell on my knees and cried as much as i could..

The Future..
the inner me wish i could speak,
my mind tells me otherwise..
the inner me wants me to shout it outloud,
my mind tells me not to..

i ask for silence, for abit of sympathy from God,
to light my path and shine on me
i don't want to feel or touch
to see and to sense what's lost in me..
i just want to remember what's left behind
so shall be it!

spare me please

2006-07-12T08:32:00.000-07:00

trip to Penang was splended! i had fun , total freedom of that whole 4days n 3nights at calvin's hse with wei leng and wei hann. i lived like a princess to be exact, i slept in a big room decorated like a 5star hotel std, toured around penang, tried most of the delicacies and club 3nights in a row! isn't tht great?

anyway, i've been missing smone since the 2nd day i got there til now. everynight, i never fail to think about him before going to bed. i tried stopping myself from thinkin about him, but i never could. iwant to c him badly.

will try to postup some pics soon...n i hate to say this, i'm silly for not able to fix this stupid layout of mine..myprevious archives all gone...=(

my holiday will soon come to an end. fast, that is. i want to work harder this time. degree would b tougher than i thought of. a promise for myself, atleast. =)

cheers everyone!

blessed

2006-07-01T07:57:00.000-07:00

went back to chs this afternoon eventhough i was sick yesterday.

no worries..i'm fine and was really excited bout meeting up with my old long ost friends =) its weird but i guess it happened than it didnt. a couple of friends are actually those that we've only got to befriends with after we graduated! ironic huh?

met up with jinghao, phui sien, lee haue and then yam woon, jess, hsien ju, eong jin, gaik khim, min siew, eeleng, hwa khang and others. not to mention ms lina, my english teacher! ahh she's still as bubbly as ever..i miss her class!definitely someone to be cherished..we couldnt stop huggin each other ahaha!

suddenly, i jst felt like i was back in high skul...attending classes, listenin to announcements..it jst so undescribable..i love tht feeling though..

anyway, i'm blessed with ppl in my life..to love and to cherish them is wht i can do in return.

clueless

2006-06-28T09:51:00.000-07:00

chee meng a friend of mine since few yrs ago..he msged me this afternoon n soon to found out, i made a mistake..*hit herself to the wall*

bebe: uncleee~~ whn u bringing mui mui to eat tong shui?
to watch movie arh? go cheong k?

cheemeng: ahaha i'm not 'gam yu lou' okay?

-still didnt know wht happened-

bebe then went downstairs tellin mum bout it..she then said

bebe: mummy...ahaha cheemeng so cute laa..*told her exactly wht i said*

mummy: u silly gurl...go eat tong sui??? means u want him to sleep with u kah?

bebe: WHAT?! not literally eat tong shui meh...got meanin?oopsi!

-bottomline?-

i embarrassed myself by any means he would've tot i'm indicating him bout sleepin wit him? GOSH BETTER NOT...hopes he's as silly as me..bleks*

don't treat me like a fool

2006-06-22T09:59:00.000-07:00

everyones back! or shall i say, coming back soon!

jess is back for gudsake..i really felt as if i've waited her for thousands of yrs!
david msged me online yesterday, informed me that he'll be back smwhr end of june too!
n sue lyn! ahaha my ex-classmate, hmm havent seen her for really long! told me she's back and we really nid to catch up with each other!
cyndi lui lui n i had been discussing whn r we going out for anotyher reunion! ahhh soon dearie!! i promise!
wei lengs friend got back from aussie too! was out with them the other day..

sorta waited for them around 2hrs walkin alone at pyramid! i seriously i had no idea how and whr did i got myself so impatient waitin for them =) least, i could get someone near subang to pick me up or call my friends to come out..but i guess, i'm always very a stubborn and straight person..i dont like changes in plans..i dislike breaking my own promises and i didn't want more troubles to occur tht day..

so yearps..finally they arrived with loads of apologies =) *hugs* ..its alrite but no other time aight! i would really spank u guys! we went to One U and ate at Ms.Read..not too bad for a chill out place =p..i was the lampost tht day if u get wht i mean..

tammie msged me earlier askin if i would like to club this weekend..yearps y not! we'll most probably meetin up tmrw i guess =) i love going out with my gfs..no time for lovie dovie stuffs...or mayb i jst dont wanna think bout it? heh

registered with the amount of rm500 paid on tht day durin the launch of UniSA..i hope i'[m doin the right decision cuz i dont wanna screw things up..the fees seriously burnin my dads wallet a big huge HOLE! urgh~ heard tht the degree would be based on all assignments no more EXAMS! one side good, bad side the other! if we have exams, least we could kinda aim which to strive and all...if assignments, we'll b friggin bz and the std bar will be so much higher! hmmph...god bless me!

foosoon...mane luuu most of my friends are coming back..wht bout u? =) i do rmb u..

2006-06-16T09:41:00.000-07:00

while bebe and mummy jst got back home from grandma's place, mum sat on the couch and bebe was about to massage daddy's shoulders. the conversation started unexpectedly..

bebe: daddyyyyyy...

*started massagin daddy

Daddy: do u know ur bro called back today abnd wished me happy fathers day huh?

*hinting bebe already*

bebe: aiyaaaa see i'm massagin u alreadyy ...muacks! *pecks all over him !

*bebe planted kisses on both his cheek and his lips*
*daddy couldnt hide his smile anymore*

ahahahaah looks like kisses always works well! muaks muacks to everyone!

happy father's day!!

2006-06-10T08:54:00.000-07:00

i was out to subang yesterday with someone very unexpected! ahaha i was out with simon..yeahh i was supposedly out with tammie n her college friends to Qbar but they changed the location to THai CLub. so i came online as usual and then simon n i chatted and it just popped out in his head *i guess* to picked me out ahaha.

very unexpected n suprising cuz' he's a net friend of mine n wei leng n also a friend of livon. wei leng n i just bumped into him last week at poppy and this time ,i'm out with him again =) i couldnt stop askin him repetitively if he was serious bout' pickin me out and yeaps! for REAL

so thr we chilled at one of the mamak restaurants at subang area and ahaha germany won! easily kicked in 4ultimate goals! everyone there cheered loudly while us both were more in our own world! ahahah yeaa simon! i think we talked n pay more attention to ourselves instead of the projector screen!

came home like 3am and woke up around 11am this mornin. quickly did hse chores cuz i know mum would much likely be nagging bout it heh. we then went to endah parade to watch bro perform.

ohh yeaa simon suggested tht we shld go for karaoke session this coming mon. i hope ss and ronald could join knowin tht they love singing as much as i do! but ss have exams and i'm not sure if tammie or wei leng could make it and ronnie might be workin..oh well , we'll see how it goes =)

sigh* currently, my fees for 1.5yrs degree in taylors might cost my family around 30k. thts extremely expensive! mum said i might try askin around if thr r scholarships offered or if there r better options in other places.. hmm ms sophia said we have fee waiver by means, discount according to our results. right now, not too satisfied with mine cuz i could only get 20% discount off instead of 30%. mum said nasty things earlier like why cant i study harder whn i know we have fees waiver in the very beginning.urgh as if i wouldnt want to! wth..

2006-06-07T01:15:00.000-07:00

whoah! love my weekend so far! been out n out n out lately...n oh lala~ finally, graduated! pretty nervewrecking thinking bout my results. i know i screwed up my last paper for econs but phew~ wasnt wht i expected at all..

last fri was my informal graduation dinner organized by the college. wasn't tht interesting despite all of us were more anticipated with our results! carpool-ed with ben and sofia. went to midvalley b4 we reached oasis, bangsar. later at night, weileng n her friends picked me up and we then went to poppy with her friends friend. we crashed some gurl's bdae party! ahahah

n the next day iris, her friends n i drove up to Genting for 988 10th anniversary event. well, my bro performed and all of us cheerednonstop.i sorta lost myvoice the next daythough! hahaa..

yesterday my family and i went to Cameron Highland and at the same day, we even went to Genting HIghland again! ahahahah so yesterday we went out early mornin til late nights! ahaha..

wei leng told me tht we might have a trip to Penang next 2weeks! this is really cool! i cant wait to go thr =) her friend will be driving and i could get a friend to go wif me too! we might just stay overnight for a day or two. =)

more plansahead! love u all!

nothing seems to complete you

2006-05-29T09:04:00.000-07:00

when someone u would unconditionally protect and care for said tht to you, what would u feel deep in u?
well, to me it seems like its rather hurtful. literally. i don't seem to know why someone could say tht to another when they are closely related , not enemies! it might not be intentionally blurted out, but it's so insensitive and irrespectful to say that out!

urgh~ anyway, i would really want to attend the graduation dinner. ironically, it sort of clashes with my brothers event this sat, while mine's on this fri. despite how much i'd love to b up on Genting to support my brother, i can't deny much that it's a must for me to attend my Graduation dinner this friday. it means alot to me as first, i've already paid rm20 for the ticket and clearly enuf, its my Graduation dinner where it might be the one and only time where all the masscommers would congregrate!

Dad suggested earlier that i should try askin a favor from iris if she could drop me thr for the dinner and only follow her up the next day since my family still had the idea of going up on fri night instead of sat. =( this is bad. real BAD. why must my event clashes with bros thing all the time? why does my parents always choose bros over mine? and mum always shuts the conversation down without considering the fact tht i might get hurt. why are all the why's nonstop botherin me. i'm jst an ordinary gurl! *sobs*

** i'm glad tht my cyndi lui lui found her sweetest thing in the world, her loved ones *hugs* can't wait to b out with u guys!!

2006-05-27T22:13:00.000-07:00

awesome and splendid! but heck exhausting! woots*

1st. Stop
date: 26 May 2006
Venue:Sunway Pyramid (Kim gary)
Time: 2.00-5.00pm
Audience: bebe, tammie, ss, sh & the gf

2nd Stop
Venue: One U
Time: 6.45- 9.00pm
Audience: bebe, tammie,ss, looann, sh & the gf

3rd Stop
Venue: Mid Valley
Time: 9.15-11.30pm
Audience: both siblings, bebe, iris, philip &wifey, sien jie & the 2gfs,etc

4th Stop
Venue: Steven's Corner
Time:12.00-1.30am
Audience: both siblings, bebe, iris, philip &wifey, sien jie & the 2gfs,etc

-end-

yesterday
pre-planned
* go up to Genting forChivas party rave
*OR sing k at redbox pyramid

conclusion?
went None..=(

happened?
to pyramid for lunch with mummy and kevin
bought myself some cosmetic things..a pair of fake eyelashes, an artificial eyelid thing and 4new eyeshades
to hartamas for sushi at greenroom aoyama with family
bill was around RM330plus plus

i'm addicted to this...the result of artificial eyelid and fake eyelashes

on the way to HArtamas

tammie n bebe at kimgary

on the way to pyramid

at thai club on tammies bdae..the drunk us

a new found kancil decorated with hello kitty! gosh he/she must be big fan of hello kitty for godsake!

everyone have fun!

friend-s

2006-05-23T22:12:00.000-07:00

friends are everywhere. we practically grow up based on our surroundings and environment which then includes, friends. what, when and how do you know if one is considered as your friend? what is the ideal requirement in a friend? when do you need a friend so you could stand up high AND tough when you needed them?

i've seen and i've felt how it is like to have friends around me eversince i was young. despite myhomey home, school is always the best place or known as our 2nd home where friendships are found and time are spent with them. a friend is someone whom would not care who are you personally. for the fact that you are valuable because of who you are and not someone people expect you to be. by means, a friend is always someone who would trust in you. til then, other basis traits required in a friend would flow in naturally. for instance, a friend will not possibly betray you or backstab you to other strangers. when one friendship is built,secrets are often shared as trade in order to build mutual understanding to one and another. if one does not have the same faith and trust in the opponent, it means you are DOOMED! we often make mistakes as mingling with the wrong friends would harm us either mentally or physically.

i am glad that i've found friends whom i can trust from time to time. sometimes, it does not need much time or talking to secure the friendship. instead, the feeling or known as your believes and faith in that someone are already buried deep and steADY FRom the very beginning of the friendship. trustworthy friends are few, i must say. i do not regret having them around me as they helped me grown up so much more than i could expect in a friend. i know when and how to face different types of people when it comes to sharing and caring. i know who i could trust and love.

i would want to say zillions of thank you to allmy friends who have been so supportive wheneva i needed them. whether it comes to my primary school friend *hardly kept in touch*, high school friends, college friends, subang friends, singing friends, clubbing friends...they are all wonderful beautiful gorgeous handsome looking homo sapiens! mwuahahaha i love you guys!

stickwitu 24/7

2006-05-16T07:33:00.000-07:00

moral was okay but definitely gonna screw econs tmrw =(

things i want to do during holidays
*go for dancing classes
*drive
*shopping
*outings with ss and tammie more often
*meeting up with yew wen
*girlie night out with wei leng!
*movies with baybee bryan!
*clubbings with yam woon, cyndi and others
*dinner with 5p3 friends
*swimming!
*get my nose and navel pierced
*trips to langkawi with tammie, ss, frankie *still in discussion*

thts all for now..love u all!

2006-05-13T07:15:00.000-07:00

thr are better guys who r worth noticing like baybee bryan!!

* i'm sorry cuz bryan always say its not him tht i have in mind..n i would defend myself by arguing tht its him i have in mind =( . its a lie tht i try believin in. but bryans such a darling for he'll b thr for bebe whn i'm down. sweet*

eileen wanna intro me to a guy whos *according to her* loaded, boyish gud lookin type of guy, same age and who would buy anything for me and shop wif me guy

sounds interesting?

yeaps..ahahah

i'll b up on genting soon for abalone!! here i come..

miss u bryan boy..*tight huggies*
can't wait to go out n stick wit u 24/7

i'm a meanie..i said woots* practically to most of my friends tht i'llstick wit them after my finals =)

2006-05-08T09:36:00.000-07:00

i miss huggin

i miss kissing

i miss caring smone unconditionally

i miss calling smone

i miss writing poems just for you

i miss sms-ing u wheneva i feel like it

i miss sharing ice-cream with u

i miss havin to wake up early and b prepared waitin for u

i miss camwhorin

i miss snuggling in your arms and lay myself on ur lap

i miss doing silly things jst because i get too worried bout u

i miss listenin to your voice b4 i sleep and to b the first hearin from u whn i'm awake

i miss smellin u

-thr are jst so many things tht u could do whn u r in love-
-BUT,i'm NOT- teehee*

tell me..am i nt feelin wht i shld b feelin?

2006-05-06T09:17:00.000-07:00

i read an entry from wei lengs blog. =( sad..

it pops up in ma head tht it flashes so slow everything bout what i did in ma life..

love? yeaa love means alot. its too diversified and broad that no one really could state one mutual understandin of what is real love.

i have none gud experience of love. so what'd ya think? i was out with jinghao, chee how, liet veay, jia yi and her sis, and phui sien. chs members. one that lasts every moment of my life =) had drinks at puchong, station one

not too bad for a chill out place. and thr, they started playin truth or dare game after tonnes of other games! gosh..u lose,u drink! thts the only main rules..and well..questions thrown..questions asked...the more we spin the bottle..the more secrets revealed..n the more likely we got ourselves drunk =) jing hao dropped me home =)

dropped by at subang darulsallam to get the long overdue food i shld've taken from ss ages ago..saw ss, daniel and wei yang..missing one? well oh well..left with abig of dissapointment..

i feel dissapointed with myself..not motivated to do anything at all =(
HIM
what's love anyway? whats love whn he ignores u in the beginnin?
what's love when he might not even rmb who am i now?
what's love when he already havin someone else in his mind now?
what's love when he's drivin some other gurls next to him now?
what's love even if he's the one who came without being invited?
what's love even if he's the one who treated me real gud and sweet?

ME
what's love when i'm the only one dwellin in the past ?
what's love when i'm the only one crying at night?
what's love when i'm the only one missin him terribly?
what's love when i'm the only one thinking bout him whneva i flip thru his msges?
what's love when i'm the only one couldn't stop lookin at his picstures?

conclusion?
always learn to let go and dont take guys for REAL
careless mistakes?
i'm always soft hearted and NAIVE even though i had it all the time, crushin my heart again n again..

mission?
b as numb as possible and not fall for guys anymore..

u wanna know me? ask me
u wanna have my num? ask me..even if u could get them thru ur friends!
think of holdin my hands? hell yeaa ASK ME *aint gonna let u easily hold them
think of kissin me? fcuk off..ahaha thts never gonna happen
think of flirting with me? think twice..i ain't gonna be tht easy on u anymore
think of takin me out? think thrice! *threetimes* never gonna be one

would u like the way i am now?

2006-05-02T02:50:00.000-07:00

before

after

results? simply amazing!

loads of my friends commented i look sexy ahahahaha
reason? swimming..
difference? yeah..swimmin to have fun, not for sunbathing or tanning =)

regrets

2006-04-28T08:58:00.000-07:00

when you are emotional, you tend to do things recklessly.

when you are out of control,you tend to decide blindly.

when you are not thinking rationally, you tend to rush into things which you'll later regret.

this is me. i always do things recklessly and decide wrongly and regret later on after what i did.

i sms-ed siewhong when i wasn't supposed to--REGRETTED!
i sms-ed foosoon all the way to Ukraine
i sms-ed bryan when he started msgin me
i sms-ed swee sum sweetheart thinkin i could get the satkeh marh from him, but nopes..turned him down as usual=(
i sms-ed frankie if he's still doin the customer services with his taggy line 'cuti cuti malaysia'
i sms-ed jing hao if the yumcha session is still on

the weird thing is BEBE DON'T REALLY MSG PPL!! wth. the doctor said i'm having imbalanced hormones. fcuk.

i would be really emotional when things go awry. fcuk. i can't control what am i feelin. esp when it comes to night time and what i do is jst online. fcuk. i hate how am i feelin right now.

sorry tht i'm cursing n feelin upside down. blame my imbalanced hormones.

someone please dig a hole n bury me.

no longer a cavelady

2006-04-23T05:03:00.000-07:00

the trip was tiring and hectic. loads of shits and problems came up. wasn't fond of hearin anymore. i myself was so into poopoo anyway! ahaha i guess the food there were rather not hygiene.

feelin dizzy since the 2nd day thr til now! gosh...no idea why or how so..my cousin said i look darker now ahaha..n thanks to ss!! he's so sweet...such a sweetie for droppin me home..i msged him to pick me up cuz parents might still b up on genting. n there he came with daniel too! listened to all my grumbles and complaints all the way! carried my luggage bags into my home too..=) *huggies*

had a rather shockin news this afternoon..auntie helen called mum and then, mum broke down in tears..she said cheng mummy is confirmed havin cancer. *teary eyes*
i was really numb and i'd no idea why was i not in tears at that moment. we then rushed to SJMC n she was thr sittin readin newspaper lookin jst fine as if she isn't sick at all. mummy cried b4 visitin her =(

accompanied her til 6pm cuz she nid to do endoscorpic..still have a bloodtest to go with which the result will only be out this wednesday. *prays* i have so many things jumbled up in my head, just like crumpled notes or one big furball!! i nid cash..yes MUCH MORE CASH TO SPEND!!! i miss going out clubbin!!! i want to shake my booty again n dance all night long with my buddies n sistas!!! i want my night life ekekeke

exams at 15th n 16th of may..which means i have few weeks to get prepared!! argh..i know i'm still slackin around! ekekeke but no worries..i'll redeem myself to study harder soon!! woots* frankie asked me to follow ss to ipoh this weekend so we could go paktoh ahahaha...not this weekend dearie!! ahaha heart sum sum, macho daniel, frankieee and smone whom i might not or might miss!

zouk this thurs..anyone?

miracles

2006-04-17T09:13:00.000-07:00

this entry is dedicated specially to dear cheng mummy, =)

dear cheng mummy,

i've known you ever since i was born. you are practically my second most loving and only Cheng mummy on the earth beside mummy. memories of you increases each and every time we spend time together. since young, i was always treated as your lil princess until now. it's time for me to repay your kindness and your patience spent with this lil spoilt girl, me.

the other day when i visited you, you told us that u had a small bump on your neck.
we were not aware of anything, nothing at all about you getting sick or what. auntie helen just asked you to check it out with the chinese doctors. and as for me, i did not do anything or care more about you. silly me.

earlier in the afternoon, mummy called auntie helen up. topic was about having dinner together and they then mentioned you. til then, only i realized you went to the hospital today. auntie helen and mummy were still as blur, thinkin its better that you should just check it with the chinese doctor instead of getting medication or what so soon from the hospital.

earlier, we all visited you at your home. you look tired and fatique. and YES , i'm pathetic and i'm not caring at all! i fell asleep on your couch. i didnt bother to ask what is going on. instead, i slept like a pig. when i woke up, uncle david, daddy mummy, grandma and auntie helen were all there discussing with you regarding your condition. i could only listen and not say anything.

your condition could be worsen. the doc said you might be affected in some ways such as smoking. you don't smoke, so you got it thru your surroundings. your 'lil bump' are already spreaded to your lungs, armpits and your neck. it could be dangerous as he said, you might be diagnosed either of these sickness;cancer, 'tibi', or leukimia. you would then need to undergo an operation in order to take out a sample of tissue from your body for futher clarification. i was dumbfounded.

the other day, i just posted an entry of treasuring your loved ones. and here, i'm gettin this news from you. you loved me so much when i was younger. i always look forward in meeting you whenever i go to grandma house. you would teach me how to make mini pizzas and cook for me. you would motivate me when i'm sick with kitkats.

u don't deserve this way. you helped so many people of your lovedones and i'm sure, no one wants to know the ending of this. i wish you prosperity and stay healthy now and then. i'll be there with mummy and auntie helen this wednesday to accompany you for the operation. don't worry. i'll be there for you no matter what.

i love you. muaks!

exhausted yet fulfillin

2006-04-16T10:05:00.000-07:00

was out yesterday with swee sum, siewhong and daniel. there i got to know another 2more new friends =), ziling is hot *bebe smirks* and wei liang *not sure how names spelt*, room mate of siewhong.

was supposed to see them on friday where we planned to go for singing session again. but hmm i guess something came up, and i think they sorta went without me. WHy and How? SOMEHOW, i found out =). anyway, i wasn't too particular about that cuz' maybe they have their reasons. i won't blame.

was sweet that siewhong came n picked me up, and two cars headin up to pyramid for kimgary. they needed an aircond which also allows smoking as well. had wanton which tasted rather bad, ssshhh i didn't complaint at that moment. reached sgwang later jst to get david tao's tickets!! woots*, the guys are seriously so much crazier than the gurls..zilin and i stood and hurled them around jst to get their tickets purchased. rm500 per one? hmm, i gotta think twice on tht! ahaha

chilled around and ate at hot mama. camwhorin started cuz of my lovely hp..hahahah it takes good quality pics..believe it or not, my hp produces only the good ones not the bad ugly pictures. swee sum got addicted right after awhile handling my hp =) siewhong came right after tht..they overtook my hp and started clickin nonstop..talking bout vainness, whos talkin eh? --"

then, we all gathered at sum's room and there we all started snappin pictures again! ahhh~ i love it when i'm not alone being artsy fartsy infront of the camera!! zilin joined and started directing the whole 'obscene' thing btwn her, me and sum!! funny...eventually, we covered ourselves with their smelly *ahem* blankie up to our neck, so we'd looked like we're naked or something, and showed silly faces..result? excellent..lucky SS!!!

i love outings like this. never been happier when i'm around my friends. been seein ss more often than the previous years, he's a wonderful friend and fun to be with.

-please love me more- *smUAcKs*

u'll always be u!

2006-04-14T09:25:00.000-07:00

the weather's constantly changing..one minute its hot the other min, its cold. it goes the same among us, homo sapiens. we don't have a permanent side of ourselves. it can be good or otherwise. no one knows. not for me to judge or comment. however, a lil of oppinion can still be accepted rite?

experiencing it at this very moment is heartwrenching. people i meet everyday are usually not real or shall i say, not true. we would greet each other with smile and joy, yet it doesn't last from the very bottom of their heart. i don't know if it's just me being over sensitive, but it's not comfortable at all. lives full of suprises! yeahh most probably in the bad way!

it trully saddens me as i always wanted to be true to people i meet in life. i would think from their view as i don't want to be just all about me! i want them to share my victory and if they don't mind, to understand my problems. therefore, i don't normally hide my feelins and i'm not gud in hiding them. if i'm happy, i'll be one. if i'm not, you'll definitely see it thru me. but people don't seem to understand the reason behind all this. what they see is just me on the surface and assumptions will be formed.

i reckon another thing too! guys are all the same. despite their appearances and physical differences,they are just the same! it hurts me at times when i give them my love, and yet its not appreciated. you'd b the same like others when i thought u might be different. alot of friends around me are filled with conflicts and problems. they come to me and they talked to me about it. i'm tired. sometimes, you guys should be proud and be gratitude for having your loved ones with you. problems which you think are one, they are just part of your life. face it and be brave. a lil annoyance formin within me as i couldnt be thr for them all the time. don't just complain when u know u live so much better than the majority. i guess we are always greedy.

apart from that, i still love to be with people who loves me. it's weird as i'm also mentionin this 'thank you' to either friends i've not met before or rather not close to. =) i spend my majority time on the net and yes, my net friends are always there for me. thanks to livon and iris. livon's ciaee's friend and iris a friend of mine whr i got to know thru alex. i heart them alot cuz they always cheer me up. not only with words but with actions. i'm very thankful as though i don't recieve sincerity from real friends, i still get love from them =D.

my family's love to me would never change. that's a fact which will never change. i used to be quite an obnoxious teen back then. infact, i could only see them as in a bad way when i could not understand them at all. should really be feeling contented =).

i heart you all =3

bought a bling bling earring for ss!! i think its cute ekekek..i even made him a card cuz i thought it would be weird just givin him the earring just like tht. hopefully, he'll love it =p

hatreds

2006-04-12T12:13:00.000-07:00

i dont mean to be mean, i dont mean to be such a bia*ch.. i was browsing thru blogs and i came to some that i reckon, my 'friends'

i never thought i would be such a hateful person to them. am i tht bad? whteva my parents thought me, how i was brought up, is that all i get from those i thought were my friends? i dont wanna mention names here. i was almost crying silently while reading them. i'm pessimistic yeah! maybe i'm a writer instead of a gud girl in reality. likewise, i write and express better here but not in real life. i nid to have a stand here cuz its how i want it to be. its my life anyway. its my blog and why cant i express it better here? true, i might not be a good communicator but i never mean to harm anyone or diminish anyone in this very own blog of mine.

i don't biat*h about my friends , those i concerned most and loved more than anyone in this world. i'd love to shower them with love and so much more without regrets. bt they don't see me this way. it's always the otherwise. one i read that she commented on how i talk and how i dresses. she named me a sl*t. can i be judged wrongly and prior to those false accusation, i'm known for all tht? its unfair. its definitely is! i love you , yet u r strangglin mewith ur bare hands.

i wish a peaceful life. i dont want enemies. i want to befriend of everyone. but things dont go our way. some people don't like the way i am. i dont bother them but they'd crossed the line n kill me right on the spot. what i could do is jst cry silently. pathetic life.

but oen thing that i must admit is its my fault fornot able to show my love to u as how it should be. i thought i gave my efforts, i didnt know it wasnt enough. i thought i love you much, i didnt know it would b hurtful as such. i'm sorry, dear lu yi. lu yi, i alwi wanted to turn back the time. i cried tho i couldnt understand chinese. but incredibly, the entry u posted regarding me..they seemed so easy as if i was reading english instead of chinese words. this is what i owe u most.an apology and ur precious time. i love u no matter wht. =3

go screw urself up for those who hate me for who i am. i'm real and i dont fake and discriminate like u. i dont belittle people when i realized i have flaws myself. unlike u, u hide ur flaws by being ignorant and bit*hes bout other people. thats jst so immature.

deaths

2006-04-08T08:59:00.000-07:00

of how many times can we live in this world? the answers ONE. yes.ONE and ONLY ONCE we live. so live with pride and dignity and happiness. i got inspired by one of my bestie's blog when i was blog hopping. sandy's one of my closest friend in Taylor's COllege b4 she transfered to KDU. anyway, i found one of her past entries and gosh, it's really saddening reading it.

prior to that, i want to type this down. whether as future reference or as reminder, i hope people who reads this would lie on their bed and think before they sleep, what have they achieved so far and what have they been doing since the day they were born. TRUST me, i WILL. one of her friend, Eunice Lee died due to sickness. and for that, i actually searched for her news thru google. how heartaching it is to know that she died 2days right after she was admitted to the hospital. she was a brilliant student and indeed, a very gorgeous young lass whose everyone's favourite once u see her pictures. sigh. is that all? for an 18 yr old gurl who has the heartof gold and the smile of joy and contentment? sometimes i wonder why God made her so perfect and later then, keep her away from her loved ones.

i remembered few years ago, my elder bro actually lost 3 of his friends in a year time. as a sis, i felt guilty and silly for not able to help out at all. well, no one could as its not about empathy or sympathy, its about the affected one themselves. i dont quite remember the details, not too vivid. one of his friend died on SARS. the sad part was his friend did not inform any of his friends *includin my bro* that he got diagnosed with SARS. he secretively left to singapore and died while his friends were all dumbfounded. he lied bout his absentees in class, lied bout why he stopped attending classes. another friend of his passed away in a car accident. he car raced with another friend of his. another friend was sitting next to him when tht accident occured. yet, his friend lived thru while he did not make it. he flew out of his car from the front mirror and landed *dunno how many metres away* flat on his face. yeah. i dont know why, but he didnt not put on his seatbelt when he raced. ambulance came after all the hassle of pushing one responsiblity to another hospital nearby. it's stupid sometimes when they do that, pushing one job to another when they could've saved a man's life!!

that how far i can recall. the point is, life's really UNPREDICTABLE! life's no guarantee or assurance. being moody for the coupleof days ago really did impacted me alot. despite being the lonely me, i'd realized there are so many things in life where you could start working on. like what lui lui said, i could bring a story book along with me or my ipod when i'm alone. thats alwiz a start to begin with. =) you know, when you leave, you'll leave! sometimes, without notice or warning; you just leave you family, your friends, your studies, the world just like that!!

anyway, be it how hard it is, we are not given any options to choose to live when God takes it away from us. however, we are alwiz given the option to live on our own and never take em' away by yourself. never suicide cuz its your life. but it is alwiz link to your beloved family and friends.

1. treasure people around you. i do tht all the time =).
2. love yourself. yes i'm learnin to do so.
3. care about your family and your family.

love me, love urself

2006-04-07T08:49:00.000-07:00

i had a bad day yesterday. try walking all on ur own for two friggin hours! shldn't have gone to the coll during the breaks. its not funny or something laughable. i didnt enjoy even a day of my college life. to be honest, i am no longer the gurl back in catholic high. its total contrast as i 'm not well regonized or otherwise. i reckon itshard to communicate in coll. maybe it is myself..i feel invisible at times too. hmm

anyway, later at night, i've decided to msg siewhong and he was as stress as i was too! perhaps, worst as he had exams and he complaint bout how many things happened throut the weeks. well oh well, thts life's all about! he called then and it did brightens me in the end..i hyped up. ahaha. n then ken came online and we webcammed.
said i shld sent him pics so he could save it as his hp wallpaper. =) sweet guy. called me in the middle of the night like 3am and it was a call all the way from adelaide!! it was 5am over thr that time!! ahahah

today was rather another mediocre day for me. nothing much happened.discussed the trip to taman negara and i think its a waste of time n money. it excites me but not to the extent of fulfillin my cravin for shopping! ahaha i'd rather do shoppin than this one..hmm it'sfreaky and scary..in the jungle for 3days n 2nights?WHAT!@#$$

i'm tired..sorethroat is visitin me soon.hmmph..hate this..

lethargic

2006-03-31T23:51:00.000-08:00

a lil unexpected when i completed the economics assignment at 1am on thurs night. i thought i'd be spendin the whole night doing it since i was lost in the midst of understanding it. thanks to yen yen,for helping me out! yen yen's is one of my sistas back in Catholic high. she loves dipping her frenchfries into the gravy of wat tan ho. it was really something precious back then.hmm

soon after i handed in my assignment, it was a huge relieved for me!! tam said i look tensed up before but smiled broadly right after that. finally, our midsem econs mark came out. a chill thru my bones right to my skin! i remembered how tough it was when i hardly can't even remember how long i took to jst comprehend the questions. the objective part was tricky and confusing while the subjective part killed me on the spot. i peeped at my marks and indhuja helped me to calculate them. i got 15.25 over 25. i wouldnt say i excel or i scored. but @#$$%%^,i'd thought i screwed them badly and the mark i had in mind wasnt like that at all!! definitely a pass and hmm hopefully, my assignment would pull my grade higher then. others that i reckon as the 'intelligent' people, failed miserably.

thank god. i DID MY REVISION ALRIGHT! oh well. on the day b4 my due date for econs assmgnt, i was out with siewhong a.k.a ma babysitter. lol, yes jst me n him. well it wasnt too bad tho i find it a lil awkward cuz there were silence as a gap. reckon that we didnt msged tht much anymore, right after tht day. anyway, like i said, things in ma life don't last. he's not a thing, but each time when there are actually someone who made me anticipate for another outing doesnt lasts too.

i miss alot of people lately. i miss eileen, kelly, sandy, all 5p3 people and the life i had back in catholic high. 3yrs ago, i wished to leave tht school eternily. its weird that now, i wanted to back so badly. my life is not that eventful like others have in college. infact, i don't think i enjoyed it at all.

bah. i need a life.

agitated

2006-03-29T06:53:00.000-08:00

econs getting suckier day by day..my love in econs decreases every second!! now to the optimum hatreds!! this assignment's killing me!

please someone stab me with a knife.i cant take this anymore. tricky and forever taking time doing research than finishing it!! econs sucks!

Question 1

"The economic impact of a US led attack against Iraq will be felt across the globe. With the use of supply and demand diagrams analyse the impact of war on any four market of your choice

-end of story-
its jst too confusing!! argh..

i miss ma babysitter..sometimes, i wonder what is going on with my life. nothing lasts. my previous thumbdrive got stolen, my anklet dropped, even with guys! no one lasted. how insulting. bebe's jst too horrid, ain't she?

addictive

2006-03-26T22:29:00.000-08:00

yesterday was addictive. my babysitter asked me out and he came all the way from ipoh back to his home at cheras and then to ss house at subang n lastly, hailed all the way down to pick me up at shah alam. =) it was sweet enuf to melt me like an ice cube to a patch of water..=)

ss got sick, and we picked another gf of theirs, *cant recall her name* at subang and we proceeded to rdbox at pyramid. for ur info, it was only my 2nd time visit to redbox, one which is the other night as gwang and yest at pyramid with the same few gdfriends. ss forced me to sing. i left early the other night, thus, i had no choice but to sing and duet with him ahaha..phew~ it has been awhile since i last sung.

from oldies to modern songs, from english to malay to mandarin and cantonese, we even sang a korean song by kiss..gosh! it was splendid..not only did we rock, i bet we did..we all couldnt stop singing!! nice nicee =)

our lil mini concert of ours only stopped after singing nonstop from 7 til 12, which makes it 5hrs! we then decided to makan makan at Ming Tien since our stomach couldnt stop growling..then siewhong dropped ss n daniel back to subang and fetch me home safely =) the touchy part was he only left after i got into my hse.

project needs help!! we all need help!! i wish thr are kind sponsors to sponsor us some cash!! urgh~ this is horrid..lend me a hand! anyone?

madness

2006-03-25T07:29:00.000-08:00

my w800i went haywire..had to wait til MOn to get it fixed..*sigh* i miss camwhoring now..

was swee sum's bdae last thurs..went crazyy the whole night dancing out at thai club. yes. i don't like that place but it's all about who's there! i had great dancing partners, wei leng and yuen chin with me. swee sum kept his promise. he brought most of his guyfriends along.most importantly, they r bachelors =)

on fri night, swee sum picked me up from subang and hailed all the way to hartamas, souled out. reached sgwang redbox at only 1am smthing. later than we expected. something happen. swee sum and frankie got worried but i'm all right. thanks for the concern. love u all.

siewhong, my new babysitter. he babysits me during the 2nights we hang out together. =) swee sum said he told him that i was like a magnet to him whn i got nervous. anyway, nice meeting them =)

yew wen n i had been msgin me for few days. he calls me babe and i call him darl. sweet? maybe..coll has been boring. nothing much happen. everyone cheers!

silentnight

2006-03-22T01:53:00.000-08:00

Dear online diary of mine,

Currently feeling a lil annoyed, tired, but overwhelmed at the same time. My streamyx connection got suspended temporary. The reason behind this was because we have not make our payment yet. BUT our bill is definitely not overflowing. WHY!! Now I have to save this in microsoft word first while waiting for my bro to settle the payment.

Feeling annoyed for my auntie has been over chatty for the past few days I saw her. It is not wrong to be talkative but the things she said were not cool at all. Sometimes, being too criticism is a bad idea after all! Probably things were not as bad like what she said. Yet, she might just rephrase them and things would change by then. Urgh~ No one SHOULD TALK LOUDLY wherever they are! Especially in the car when the echo bounds back faster and louder with such limited space in the car! She is the loudest person I’ve ever met. Worst still, she has a piercing voice and no doubt, no one can stand her.

Anyway, the least happy-thing I could think about now is my brother. He’s releasing his new album again! Fast that is, it took him within 7months to relocate good songs, composing new songs of his own. Now, let me do a lil introduction of his album. This time, his album is made out of 4 fast numbers of songs. Read again. They are fast and up to tempo songs, which means, the concept is a different one as compared to the previous one. I just listened to the not finalized version of his album and I must say, it isn’t that bad! So people out there, do pay attention to this guy and get his album once it is released.

I called Eileen the other day. She was not surprised that I called. Only after when I told her, I miss her that is why I called. Ahaha. She quickly said we should meet up by the weekend but I’m not sure if we could by this weekend. I miss her and I think it is time to meet up with some close friends of mine. A very good start to call up your old friends and it would not cost much of your time and space right?

CHEERS! Muaks to everyone!

stressful nights

2006-03-14T07:15:00.000-08:00

Holla everyone!

How does it feel like when nervousness attacks us? Well for me, it definitely involves the adrenaline rush part plus a lil with the explosion of fireworks right in your heart..alright I’m using personification here. So try to imagine aights? The sound of thunder strikes just like this ‘thump! Thump! DuNg DunG ! ahaha maybe I’m not a descriptive person, I can’t just help it though.

I did not feel that at first. Exam is around the corner. I’ve been slacking like anyone would. But, I did some revision, which the satisfaction is overwhelming. I have not experienced as such for sometime now since I literally threw all my books after SPM ended. Back in high school, everyone was still a toddler. We learn, we strive and yes we succeed. Though the paths we walked on were not easy, tough it may seem; yet we overcome those obstacles like no one else did! Now, we are adults. The future lies ahead and it is up to us either to walk or run or crawl towards it. Unlike back then, we might have time for pleasure and leisure. Instead, we are less fun, hyper but more uptight with tension, pressure, and the determination to win the battle.

No doubt about that. I’m getting older now. Yes. I’m still 19plus , yet each day pulls me so close to myself, reminding myself that there are so much more for me to work on! Life’s too short for everything! In additional, distractions and sins! I wish I could think like a nun and live straight up with my life without evil intentions in me! These distractions keeps me distracted, unmotivated and depressed!! Urgh~ God would u b kind enough and save me from this hellhole mindset!

bumped into wayne an online friends since i was in form5 at summit yesterday. went for bowling and hmm well i was sittin thr waitin for my turn..was with my mum and my siblings..n smone called my name twice..turned back n ahem..i reckon him of course! but i was smilin widely speechless for i couldnt recall his name at all! shoots* to make things worst, he asked if i rmb him..all i could do was jst smile..ahahah pai seh sgt..he is darin to approach smone whom he never meet in real life b4! ahaha

Econs is easy when you understand the theories and the concepts and the calculations. Econ is hard when you jumble up everything together which in the end; it’s just a mess!! Conclusion? I’m stuck in between! I need a hand here!!

moral falls on next Thursday while econs happens to be on Friday. Wish me best of luck aights! Muaks!
I miss yeww~

craps we came up with

2006-03-07T09:28:00.000-08:00

precise and wise

2006-03-07T08:16:00.000-08:00

decision. the word itself means nothing much but as it revolves and bind itself around other words, here it goes..the complication of all mess! how do you actually go around making the best decision without hurting anyone? how would you justify and clarify the outcome once u've decided. is this really complicated or it is just us, human beings being over 'smart'.

we, human beings are considered as the most perfect species and refined ones as compared to animals which varifies from reptiles,birds and so on. yet, prior to our intelligence, we often make the same mistakes. we are smtimes fools who fool outta ourselves without realizing how funny it is when we think back again in the future. pitiful enough. i need someone to embrace me with motivation and love so i could strive for the best in me. someone please lend me a hand =0

i wish i have the courage in me to break the ice between us.

i wish i have the bravery to hug u from the back and give u the most sincere smile

i wish i could keep myself warm around ur arms when we're near

i wish i could breathe the same air tht u r breathin in

i wish we would be watchin the same star that shines most

i wish u ARE able to see what i see, feel what i feel..jst like the twin me

i wish i could jst look at you again =)

haha. foosoon's comin back in 3months time..said he'll miss me GUD GUD make sure he do so..*teehee* i miss him too..ahh ken left to aussie earlier..chatted with him few days ago..conclusion? he wants me to wait for him. he'll be back with my ring and marry me. awwwww how shuuuuwwwiit! he wanna be the youngest millionaire in 4yrs time after he finish studyin..lol alrite i'll wait if no one wants me..=p
yong bin asks me to join the malaysia international commercial model competition! ahahah ME debbie in the most beautiful gown doing the most fascinating catwalk on the stage or with the mic, doing her thang?! ahahah i'll see how it goes aight? geez..
david said he kept my gift in his cupboard n forgotten to pass it to me whn he was back last few mths..SO, he owes me more candy n tong tong whn he comes back from aussie soon! *evil grins*

i'm blissful for havin so many notti bunch of guys to sayang me whn i'm here alone eh? muaks! lub lub ya all!!
exams next week..i seriously nid to pull my sleeves up and start workin with my books! econs. sucks . moral. boring.

bastards are jst part of life

2006-03-05T09:20:00.000-08:00

i read vin's post the other day regarding her w800i and a cellphone of her sis were stolen by two indiana jones ahem..indians. they were fast and instant! but i didn't reckon the lesson..i didnt warn my mum bout it and stop her. perhaps its partly my fault too =(

my family and i went up to Genting earlier and my mum lost her phone..infact, it was my younger bro's cellphone. since her o2 mini were sold off the other day, she had been using my younger bros phone whilst my bro are using the antique..8850 nokia =p. she is reckless as usual. i'd no idea why would she hang her cellphone to her pouch bag!! isn't it obvious that the possibility of her cellphone being stolen is high enough? to her at tht moment, the answer's NO..

my bro received a call from daddy saying that mum's cellphone got stolen. bro made up a call to the line centre and cut it off immediately. WHAT's wrong with this mothafckers? have they not know about guilt or fear for stealing? where's the justice btw..

anyway, we lodged a report and they claimed some actions will b taken. to me, it's jst another way of saying NOTHING's GONNA CHANGE..
had a small fight with bro yest..it was bad..but smhow we're back to bestiesiblings on earth this mornin =D. was out with wai cheong, cheryl and ohh suprisingly, their youngest sis too, sze sze, and yee heng for a movie in mv. it was really cool meetin them up again after so long!! FD3 was rather so-so if compared to FD1 & FD2..this one is more like the predicted ones. not too much of suspense =) still, undeniably exciting enuf to watch how they died brutally.

i'm feelin bloated, a lil bit of wanting to throw up
urgh~ gonna stop consumin later on..

saranghe means i heart you

2006-02-28T07:53:00.000-08:00

HAte myself for lovin you so much,
oh i hate myself for falling back in love,
never been gud at words i wanna say ,
i sing my love for you,
i'll jst let the music make sweet love to you..

i broke down in tears,
i fall on my knees,
everything is uncertain,
i could only pray..

i love ya muchie..emo bebe strikes again! urgh i hate this most..ahahah
spent rm190 in a day..in a few hrs time..
rm30 for reload card supposedly rm50, tight budget tho
rm80 hood jacket, nice and jst plain comfy =)
rm40 army green eye liner from red earth, woots*
rm40 glitter eye liner from cyber, some brand from japan i think

RM30+RM80+RM40+RM40= RM190#

this is how i spend my money rationally..ahaha i cant wait to go US to shop..gonna shop for abercrombie & fitch mostly..ahhhh i wanna do disneyland..i'm jst a lil naive gurl wonderin around sue me! blueh..

gotta miss san san, as she'll leave me again..and dang! supposedly meet her at lunar bar n teng was thr too..but no transportation n last minute confirmation..take care dearie!!

wen's bdae around the corner..woots* plannin to go genting but hey hey i jst spent rm190..tot of jst goin smwhr nice whr we can talk n chill..sun going out with cathy, waicheong's sis and sze sze for a movie..ahhhhh FINAL DESTINATION! smashpop, jason recommended again lol..comments made =FCKIN' GUD!!

lets make sweet love tonight eh~

groovee with mee

2006-02-26T08:55:00.000-08:00

heya everyone! hows everyone today?? its SUN and yearps kinda a beautiful sunday to me! laid back as usual, the QUeen of PRocrastinator! ahaha dang dang dang~ Ms DEbbiE..woots*

was out with my bro again to joel's hse..was his party n damn! his hse is superb HUGE and the dogs are soooooo CUTEEEEEE!!! the tiny one kept lickin my fingers n jumped on me...awww sweetness.. my bros were all thr and of course they started teasin me if i were going out to clubbin again..well simply cuz i alwiz see them b4 i go club *teehee*

nice hanging out with them tho not exactly my friends =) nice nice..oh yeaa i gotta say this..i blog for my own viewing, for my own pleasure and for my own space..i dont blog cuz of other reasons like in a way, to inform people what u have in mind..as if i'm reporting and tellin them on purpose bout my life..nahs tht aint the real purpose to blog..i hope some people understnd tht =p

its mon again..2weeks prior to my mid term..i'm worried bout my econs..the silly unprofessional lecturer couldnt help us out at all..all i see is him blaberring jumpin form this topic to another from time to time! how the hell do i understnd!! gosh~ i seriously need smone to assist and guide me in this..=(

emailed teck the other day and yeaa he replied all the way from US *smiles* its sweet tho i gotta admit..i dont email people tht much..only to people i really care and mom pestered me to do so since weeks ago..it was all fun! he asked if i jst wanna visit him or to study thr in the States..well if he'd b so kind and generous to sponsor me..i wouldnt mind at all ahahahahah he's sweet

gotta go! CHEERS everyone and nites!! muaks!

p/s: i ain't ur biat*h, so shut the fcuk up!

kissable you..

2006-02-24T11:04:00.000-08:00

dear me,

its been few days you've not talked to him nor see him..how far can u deal with this? how long more can you stand without falling again? with teary eyes and with your heart crushed once more? are you able to move again from the step that you are standing on now? while leavin ur shadow behind you, you jst don't realized that shadows can neva leave you right? yeaaa *smacks bebe's head to the wall* silly me..

emo bebe again..you you you!! you neva learn do you? its so hard to actually love again..but you did it again..and now you have no choice but to suffer again from the consequences..and yet at the same time, you r rambling bout it..how pathetic is your life is!

ANNYWAYSSS..look on the bright side dear..he's not into you..he's not even callin you out from the very first time you both meet! if he's into you even for jst a lil..he'll realized your importance living without you when you've decided not to see or call him for 2weeks time!oh gurl..look at yourself..what have you got to have the right to love someone who can be better off with someone else? *sighs* bebe, you r pretty useless heh? *giggles at bebeself*

-end of emo bebe-

days been great so far, apart from unable to erase what i have for him in mind..others r gud! i'm adapting to my life without you again..to love or not, i chose not to..watched big mommy's/mama house 2 earlier with my siblings..entertainin..he's funny n the whole comedy 's objective is to make us laugh rite? hilarious enuf..

its 3.11am !! shall b up on bed now! nitey nites...muahs!

my dreams

2006-02-23T07:33:00.000-08:00

oh have i told u tht my bro graduated last thurs? yeaa..he's a degree holder n i'm still a diploma student..but wht excites me is me completing them this may!! woots*

days been gud..finally, i'm coping up with everything..my studies esp..cant really neglect em' tho my mind are constantly bombarded n distracgted by other unnecessary things..jst realized tht my first friendster account reached 301 testimonials! i read thru them and indeed, i havent really keep in touch with EVERY of them..but they were soo SWEET..really brightens up my day jst readin them..

i already mapped my future plan out..i'm not n neva ever been this way but i guess its time for me to prepare for the world out thr..i need to survive!! living without an aim means aiming a gun to my head which the risk of it exploding any minute terrifies me!

probably the mindset tht i've decided to try out SIA made me another person, a more unmotivated person for wht i want is to graduate n quickly, try out the interview..yearps i know..its unhealthy to have tht thinkin..thts y i'm changin..i'll really do gud in this last sem of mine and hopefully, get in SIA..by then i wont b here in Malaysia anymore..

i'll b travellin around the globe and perhaps might work for a 5 yrs to 7yrs contract..by then, i'd have enuf support to live on! i do have my plans aight!
-might do investment
-savings
-take family for a ride to US *yeaa mayb i'll head thr end of this yr =)
-mayb a business of my own or a shop for my mom..=) she'd wanna have a cafe shop, i know i'm sweet
-LASTLY, if i'm able to earn enuf..i'll send my younger bro abroad to study..but of course with gdpromises!!
-if i want to, i'll go overseas too to pursue my degree..
maybe in the end..i'll stay in US with ahem..smone lol

-rindumu-

superduper unloved me

2006-02-18T21:44:00.000-08:00

i'm turnin into a big lazy asshole bum!

i've been going out too much..too often infact..

i think smthings wrong with me..i'm procrastinating everything..

i started going out last last week i supposed

wed- to thai club with san san, lion n their friends with alex n his friends

sat- to dinner at bangsar restaurant fu yu with theresa, jess, cyndi, sam, edwin, cheehong eliciA
- to poppy with wai cheong, edwin, marcus their friends n jess , sam

mon- to jess house and to bansar , nirvana yumcha

tues- out to starbucks with sam on valentines night

yesterday, sat- i was in beach club with sze sze n her friends

n i'm so lackin of doing my hmwork n revision..i kept havin nightmares now..i'm fckin lazy shiets..i gotta do smthing here..i'm turnin too many favors down ..too many friendships down..

*slaps herself*

-doomed me-

you

2006-02-17T00:03:00.000-08:00

i miss you

saya rindu mu

wo xiang nien ni

ngo hou xiong lei

ngai xiong ni

if thr are other diaclects that i know, i'd say the same thing too..i jst wish u miss me like how i do.. alwiz..=)

there are things i wish to know,
there are words i wish to tell,
but how do i share them,
if u r not there to listen

i do not ask for more,
i jst wish for ur presence ,
issit hard to even compromise ,

i search for you everywhere,
i look up to the starry sky and pray hard,
that you would look at my way,
to feel the pain i have beneath me
to touch the wound i have in me
to heal my soul with your love
but it suffocates me each time i wanted you..jst you

i'm waiting, waitin for you
whereva you go, whatver you do,
i'll b thr with you..for u're in my heart always
ur smile, ur touch, ur blurry look, ur boyish attitude..
they are jst so pure and sincere..i would jst gaze at you
i would jst wanna hear u speak , n hug you from behind

u gave me hope, u light me up,
u give me everything i wanted
but u'll neva b with me..why i wonder..
perhaps..i'm jst not the perfect one
for i have flaws
for i may not have the most pleasant smile
the gorgeous crystal lookin eyes like others do
the heart of gold that you need..
forgive me for being silly..for wanting more from you

** i really miss you sososososo much..

valentines

2006-02-14T09:12:00.000-08:00

its 14th of feb 2006..

as i thought of, it would be another dull day to go with..

the previous yrs of this date reminds me of nothing, i had none experience

its different this time..it did

i tot i could neva feel again, i have it tonight..

shy, impatient, curiousity, anxious and loads more..but lovely n jst sweet enuf

thanks for the night, thanks for being thr, thanks for accompanyin me..

i comprehend, i need no other words, but time will change, will heal, will prove

this will b the main chapter of my life..for u i'm happy, i feel blissful

a really gdfriendly lad here with me..thanks!

- happy valentines 2006 -

muaks!

ladies ideal man

2006-02-09T01:04:00.000-08:00

this entry is dedicated to chris n clint!! congrats!! i'm soo touched n in teary eyes ahahah i'm wishin both of them to stay healthy n happy thru out their life..chris is engaged!! aaawwwww...i wonder hows it like to get proposed and the moment u say yes to smone u love alot alot alot alot!!

sweaty hands? adrenaline rush? the feelin of gettin sick? *according to chris* ahahah but most importantly, the love u have for tht smone overflows! i knew chris thru my ex, n eversince then we became close tho distance apart..

its inevitable to see the couples happily together all the time, no fights, no misunderstandings, only love n love n more LOVE in the air..how sweet!!

talkin bout marriage..yest i met up with the guy tht i'd talked bout in my previous entries..my godfather's step son..well we are all interlink in a way..for the wife was my primary music teacher..n yeaa her son studied in US since a decade plus ago. from what i heard, he's a brilliant n a smart ass ahahaha he studied thr based on scholarships and omfg, he even completed his masters! now he's workin in a consultancy firm in US =) to top up the creds, he drives a nissan murano and own a double storey hse over thr..saw the pics..lovely n ahem..spacious ahahaha

so the moment came yest..he came back and i had to meet up with him since my family visits them every year..i was nervous no qualm at all tht my mind got pretty fickled of how will i look like this n tht..FIRST IMPRESSION COUNTS ALOT!! tho initially i didnt care much bout wht my mom n her mom did *tryin to tease one another about becomin a family or so* but u noe..i still get nervous if i know its when everyone's eyes will b on u..freaked out!

but it was okay...in my mind, i thought he was some old fashioned over matured guy but he looked soo different as compared to wht i had in mind! seriously..he look friendly =) n a lil of shy..stood next to his mom whn i went into the hse..shook hands with him..n the first time ever in my memory, tht i'm able to rmb hows he gonna look like n act like..the last time i saw him is whn i was only 10yrs old.. blurry vision of everythng..

the whole night went alil awkward to me..but i guess its alrite..i think he's a very gud guy..=) my parents praised him nonstop..n to tell the truth, he's exactly wht every ladies ideal man! ahahah

later then, i met up with san san..went clubbin at thai club! ahaha first time thr..bumped into alex, eugene, yinzheng , victor and others..ahaha cool day on a wed night ahaha whn i had 8am class this mornin..teehee

pics will b up soon!! i miss yewwwwwwwwwww...muah muahs

mAGnificento

2006-02-04T06:48:00.000-08:00

i'm backk! ahaha been bz lately..superbly tired right now but still hanging on..stomach aint feelin too gud now..maybe i ate too much or issit food poisoning?

its the best yr of other yrs!! i'm very satisfied with the quantity of my angpaus! ekekek...dad's pretty generous this yr..i got rm800! ahaha tho not the figure tht he promised to give, but i'm floating in the air now!! woots..moneyyy can light u up easily eh? other that tht, everythings fine..visited my relatives..my auntie from alor setar came down too!! oh beautiful! my cousin is sooo CUTEEE as in yeaa he has nice features? ahahaah after so long not seein him, he'd changed so much! hardly reckon tht its him..

he's soo mean..he asked me this question out of nowhr..'heyy why rn't u givin out angpaus' --" c'mon do i look tht OLD..ahaha if yes, it would be mature..never gonna b old tho i am ..i'm indenial! ahahah i ate soooo MUCH this yr...so much infact overeating..esp lou yue sang! been havin tht twice a day for weeks plus way b4 the cny even started! geliii nak tengok nak maken lagi..

took so many wonderful pics with my maternal relatives..i did manicure for my aunt!! for the first time, i'll grade myself 7 over 10..fair enuf?
not gonna spend much time writing every details here..pics will say it all rite?!

i wish he's mine..*magnificent bodily shaped car*

look!! i'm high up the sky..love this one =p

kev n i..windy time!

me saying gdbye to jacko b4 leavin the hse

kev n i outside my aunts hse

my maternal family!!lurve them to bits

me n my handsome cousie!! pinggggg miss yaa loads here

happy chinese new yrr!!

2006-01-27T09:49:00.000-08:00

hurrayy! chinese new yr's around the corner..infact, its only like a day away..
i'm feelin it! total excitement and joy this yr..i got to shop more and $$ more too! ekekek..creds to dad! most probably ahaha i'm gettin 1k n YES this is gettin better each yr..=p

went to hair saloon today n yearps..wanted to dye again but mom said i shld jst get some highlights..results? mom said i'm a qualified wild gurl now..--" anyways, dad also got a new colour! instead of his original black *his hair's still as black as ever* , his hair now is orangy RED!! mom trimmed her hair n got herself a blonde brown colour..we r lookin FAB!!

things gonna b hectic soon right after cny!! moral assignment, most probably plannin a trip to genting as a farewell thingy b4 jess, my bestie leaves to aussie, updates for taman negara ;my final project of the sem, n the dinner soon on this 11th feb with all my dearies and san sans gonna return on the 30th jan..meanin i might see her this 1st of feb or 2nd..n yeaa might even follow her up to genting again for a trip ...

ooh yeaa my god father's son is back from UK too..oh god..n the things i'm kinda nervous n lookin forward in this lil meetin of ours..uncertain with my feelings but i'm sensing its gonna b an interesting night ..imagine the wife will try to match me with him..ahem..yeaa this guy seriously has all the criterias tht every lady wants! but he's a lil mature for me...=( anyways, its a gud thng to see him..

my new yr resolution is doing gud so far..my bond with my beloved family's turnin gud! i'm so in love with them..and so far..i'm pretty gud in behaving n controllin my temper..n i'm keepin in touch with all my friends..and makin new friends as many as possible..=) n i'm still is interested in js as much as i first used to! ahahah its a praise..

my bestie , jess gonna leave on the 14th of feb..soon enuf i'll not see her tht OFTEN anymore..cyndi too gonna leave prolly end of this yr? wen is also leavin..might be or might not..i dont know..but i'll survive !!

n of course b4 i leave, happy chinese new yr!! i wanna thank my family for all their blessings n support for i wouldnt be here for who i am without them..my friends who are alwiz thr whn i needed them despite the less contact part..n this lil smone whom i still sayang alot..everyone n lil jacko my dog!! ahaha i love yea all!! enjoy this wonderful celebration with laughters n no sorrows!

watashi wa bebe desu

2006-01-24T08:50:00.000-08:00

is it a right way for a self introduction? aahaha anyways..day was cool..js dropped me to coll this mornin n thanks to him, i was practically rushin here n thr tryin to prepared myself cuz he jst gave me 5min to get readay! u u u so meann!

news- whts exactly news stands for? YES its an abbreviation..not exactly a word..it stands for news n happenings from the North, East, West and South! ahaha now u r learnin smthing new! i read thru newspapers now and then and all i see are only the cruelty and inhumanity among the society today. its kinda heartache seeing and tryin to accept tht our society is becomin' worst and to top tht off, i'm gettin worried to live in msia! the so called peaceful and secured country to live in!

snatch thefts, rape cases, murderers and thr r so many more to b seen all over every pages..hate it so much cuz *no offence here* but our government isnt really doing anything to help at all! talkin bout the government..tho they dont get paid as much as the private sector does,but they shld really get their jobs done! wht they r supposed to do n not doing smthing illegal behind our backs...get wht i mean? a simple example would do here...the cops

if thr are any other better words to describe them, i'll do so but unfortunately, i've no idea..they never really gain any of my trust in them eversince i witnessed dunno how many times of them taking bribes..humilliating enuf! if they are so lack of human resources now in their government sector, its probably the 'gd examples' they've shown to us...n due to tht, we do not have any trust or faith in them tht we'll have gud ending workin with them!

n as for the rape cases, this is real saddening..i have to agree tht msians are gettin desperate for everything..i dunno why..probably cuz of the rules tht restraint us too much, this will only cause us to rebel..cant be blamed cuz we have curiosities..we would want to know how its like and to be exposed..

i'm not sayin tht rapists r gud! not at all..they shld b punished based on their wrong doings! whip their arses off them man! i smtimes jst thinks tht if sex education are exposed n implemented long time ago, perhaps this will not happen..mayb a big decrease than this rate occuring now..sighs

its jst me..aaha tryin to opinionated! ahahah i miss u!!! whr art thou...

arigato..

2006-01-22T07:55:00.000-08:00

todays the best day after few days of sleepless nights..i'm the record holder weih! AHAHA my nose bleed three times yest!! i slept at 4am n woke up by 7am

i had terrible nights few days ago..couldnt close my eyes n sleep..it was all bout the problem which i thought its a problem but it wasnt...ahaha its allfine..and i'm glad we're back to normal..or was it already normal..was jst me havin the negative thoughts..ahaha

kevins sick now..sorethroat n fever...his whole body is so hot..n i guess i'll have to take gud care of myself cuz i think im gonna fall sick anytime soon! went to ikano today n bought new curtains!! its pearly red..ahaha nice nice..

not much done today...ate alot
ahaha our dinner falls on the 11th feb!! woots...cyndi, wen gonna bring their new bf..ahahaha n they want js to b thr too..ahem..ahahah macam his popularity is so much higher as compared to mine!!! they want him to be thr more than they want me to be present! ahahahaha

everythings back to normal..n i'm relieved..thts all!

muaks!!

What good is a Heart

2006-01-20T20:15:00.000-08:00

I told you how I felt,
I told you what it meant,
But I still haven’t changed your mind,
I know that you’re afraid,
You’re frightened of the pain,
But you can let down your guard...

Cause when we run, when we hide,
We deny what’s inside...

What good is a heart if you’re not gonna use it,
What good is a love if you’re too scared to choose it,
If you’re heart is beating, then it’s for a reason, girl,
If you’re not willing to start, what good is a heart?

Don’t make the same mistake that people often make,
And miss out on a chance for love,
You’ve got to make your move, you’ve got to make it soon,
Cause you’re dying inside...

Yes, I’m a man, but I cry,
I have fears, I won’t lie...

What good is a heart if you’re not gonna use it,
What good is a love if you’re too scared to choose it,
If you’re heart is beating, then it’s for a reason, girl,
If you’re not willing to start, what good is a heart?

Come on, babe, you know it, girl,
Anyone who looks can see that I’m right,
There’s a chance here, we could take it,
Or regret it for the rest of our lives...

What good is a heart if you’re not gonna use it,
What good is a love if you’re too scared to choose it,
If you’re heart is beating, then it’s for a reason, girl,
If you’re not willing to start, what good is a heart?

by Code Red

*this is how i feel now and then..sigh..*
i miss cyndi and wen dearie..i miss san san..pls come back fast!!! i'm waiting for u..of course i miss al my bestie..tho tht i've lost in touch with..i'm happy with my family..the way how it works now..

nose bleed this mornin..i was washing my face n suddenly i felt the hot liquid rolling down my nostrils...shoot! red= BLOODy BLOOD...its so red and it took smtime b4 it stopped...ahh heaty me...i need smone to take care of me man...

woots* i actually bathe jacko and his kennel under the scorching sun! ahaha n the 2cleaners came to my hse..yeaa not gonna spend time cleanin up the hse nw...it'll b their work! ahahaha *evil grins* i dont need to do tht much of work nemore..

gotta bathe! i'm soakin wet..aahahah dont lick me..i need a shower! =p
i love u!muaks!

KisS gdbYe

2006-01-19T09:18:00.000-08:00

wht a day..i slept around 2.30am yest and jacko my dog woke me up by 5am...he wanted food!! wHAT he has neva been tht early..sheesh

n mom turned me down last minute..asked me to cal js to drop me off to coll...its not gud cuz its last minute..who likes it to be tht way..so i called him n ahaah yea as usual, he'll b blur n sleepy on the phone but its gud..he did came..ahah but after waited for him like more than an hr..

he blamed me ahah cuz he slept late cuz of me ahahaha yeaa we talked like so many things@ ahahah anyways...i'm confused...i'm doubtful bout everything..i took those words seriously i guess...but i doubt if its true..if wht he meant was real..n well, al silly thoughts came up..i didnt like it..

bah. i'm better off alone...this is better than anything..class was as usual came back home like 1plus and guess wht!! i cleanede up my room! ahaha after so many mths of not keepin my things properly, clothes here n thr, ahahaha dusty too! lol hey i got a reason for this kay, i was BZ...

it looks so much better now..cuz its fresher..and decided to do some changes..gotta hang my big big poster fo my bro on the wall, my mirrors, get a new desk...changes of placements n yeaa i bet it'll look nicer..i wanna paint my wall apple green...its nice marhh refreshin!

didnt had anythign the whole day except water n went for lou yue sang for dinner earlier..nice yummy...my whole bodys stiffen..as if i'm a dead cold body \..i need someone to massage ahahaahah

currently, i'm thinkin bout u tho i'm tryin to stop it instantly whneva i start missin u
listenin to kiss gdbye by wang lee hom..my fav song for now
gotta sleep! nites!

its the month of ANGELS of LOVE

2006-01-17T09:20:00.000-08:00

i jst got got a post whic sounds great n GEMPAK but its not..protocols and logistic..sighs..

js dropped me to coll for the 2nd time after my internship ended..=) n from wht we can see here, he jst spammed my msg box..ahaha

to lighten my day, 2 of my bestfriends cyndi n woon found their loved ones..congrats on tht..it all happened too sudden!! aahah i'm still tryin to grasp some air here cuz i'm too excited whneva thr are happiness around the corner! ahahah i'm happy for u both dearies..

cyndi a.k.a lui lui and wen are my closest sistas other than jess..at times, cyndi n i would b grumbling bout our life and whrs all the guys who never realized how gud qualities we have aahah! nahs..we used to wonder alot..thts all! ahaha but its good tht u r now holding someone's hand apart from mummy bebe here..

wen..very proud of her as shes already givin herself a chance after all the saliva i spent on her, tryin to talk her out and make some sense into her mind! *tight hugs* forget the past, as its the past..it worth no more cuz thrs smone infront of u to hold u whn u fall and light u up whn u feel down..=)

as for jess, she's havin some problem with her boy but 3 of us will b thr for her..and she'l b fine..

suddenly, i felt smthings missing..it shld be me..i feel left out =( i dunno why..aahah mayb its jst this lil voice in me consolin myself tht i'm still out here, a loner..walkin alone in the rain whn i left my umbrella at home, leave my room in messy cuz nobody's visiting, n look inappropriate too for thrs no one for me to look nice and pretty..heh

a small lil note to him..hey whr have u been! i miss u hell loads! i miss ur smile and stuffs we talk tht made my day with laughters n without sorrows!*tight hugs*

still i'm still thankful for havin my friends n family here with me today..tho i'm a loner , i have their hands to reach out for whn i look back and have their love endlessly..muaaakkks~

a head with diff kinds of silly expressions and silent thoughts in mind

nEwLy Wed!!

2006-01-14T09:06:00.000-08:00

whoah! how does it feels like getting married? i bet it must be something unforgetable for the rest of their lives! i felt the raised of myheartbeat and the adrenaline rush pumpin right thru my blood stream..sweaty palms and of course gettin' high! no idea if this is true but i felt as if i was the one gettin married! lol

i travelled all the way up to Penang on fri in the mornin to attend this wonderful wedding..a weddin of my sister..a friendship which already existed for 10yrs ago..she's veronica or the name i prefer callin..ying ying..we and other 4more members were once a group of talented singers! *i ain't lying!* we were the young lil cute n pretty and gorgeous young ladies who won many of our fans' heart!! ahahah we did received letters n gifts alrites! n tht was 10yrs ago..i was only 9yrs old =) ahh sweet ol' memories..they do lasts...

now we are all grown up..i believe in fate..i miss them alot..for godsake! 10yrs of friendships whr 6 diff scattered individuals congregated n released many sweet precious albums and acted few drama series of our own..wht more do i need? ahahaha my precsious!! back to whr i was..yeaa the eldest of the group, ying ying is now 22years old..been crowned numerous of title..amongst were ms petite and ms pesta and loads more!! she's petite with a simple smile who are able to attract people's heart!! ahaha n nowww she's married!!

had wonderful time thr..time jst flies huh? i got to meet up with other members after so long..i was totally high but not on drugs nor liquor! ahaha i am jst..blissful..ching ching!! ahaha i miss u hell loads n u were the only one among others whom i've not met for so many yrs!! i love yea all!! muahs!!

tired but fantastic..i got to spent a lil time wondering wht will it be whn i marry in the future? her parents promised to attend my wedding ahahha..yeaa thanks for everyone who actually rmbered me n our group after so long..i smtimes can't believe for random friendster users did msged me to find out if i was the young lil gurl who sang last time...how sweet!!!

alrites..gotta take a nap..i wish the newly wed forever blissful and may health and wealth b with them..

me and sze sze the 2nd! ahahah shes so cute and yea cuter than her missin sis!

ching ching! ahah she's gorgeous eh?

a quite not clear image of a scenery when i snapped it while drivin thru the penang bridge

kevin took this when i was day dreamin lookin at the roads

yeaa i cut my hair even shorter now..ahahah turned all the guys who craves for long haired gurl down! woo~

snapped this after a new haircut!

yea this is me b4 i dyed my hair! ahah see its so black and yucks..dull!

how have u been?

2006-01-05T08:30:00.000-08:00

hmm currently listenin to menghitung hari by kris dayanti..definitely a nice and suitable song to go along with my mood right now..ahahaha i felt as if it has been so long since we last met..tho in reality, its jst a few days away from u..

i miss looking at ur blur expression, how u cheer me up, how u try to comfort me whn things go awry. well i miss ur everything..its 12.32 in the mornin..and thrs jst too much to tell and express my feelins..lol

i guess i'm pretty introvert when it comes to this..i dont speak i wont tell and i wouldnt wanna share bout it with u..yeaa dumb huh? probably, its jst a fact tht i dont seem to overcome my own problems..self esteem..in this case, i have none..

people say 'go grab ur chances' or 'treasure wht u have b4 its too late' and others more..i'm different..in a sense of how i think and wht i can think, no one understands and no one hears my whispers..perhaps, i'm locked in another dimension whr people see me but not to least, feel or hear me..

excuse my latenights symptoms! ahaha i have this whn i dont sleep accordingly..=p
now bare with me since u r still here with me readin this..i mean am i invicible or i'm jst too far to reach out for anyone even the one i want to be with? i have this mindset which truly conquers from within me..lets just say, i dont want to get hurt..so way b4 i could understnd the person i love, i'd leave b4 he wants to love me..by the end of the day, it'll only b heartaches and pain..

alrite..too complicated to adhere? see thts the point..i'm too not simple gurl ahaha my minds so fickled now..confused and wht other words can i think of..i would love to love a guy with all my heart considering tht he's a really wonderful and gud guy to be with..n yea it might be one sided love, but if in the end i choose to leave..and by then...he comes for me..? the ending? i'll freak out for i dont want to hurt him and myself cuz of my past..i have a phobia -troubles to love

of course, it would be the biggest highlight of my life cuz he likes me too but from another angle, i'd be thinkin so much on how to make sure if i really love him..is he the mr right, or if i'm making the right choice and all sorts of things! i'm clumsy and i seriously dont use my head or heart to feel? i DONT N I CANT! whts the matter with me?

ahaha...i dont wanna go on n on with this foreva..its jst a piece of mind tryin to seek for comfortness and trust from smone who i can trust too..

lastly, everyone cheers! *tight huggies*

2006

2006-01-01T20:49:00.000-08:00

reminiscing every moment that i went thru was fun and memorable. something i would not forget at all..

i'm grateful for what i had and happened last year..whether it was good or was it bad, this is me...i believe everything is destined and fated..last year has been a quite monotonous one for me..unlike the previous year 2004, it was more than being a goody gurl in the house and workin for my internship or studyin like others did..

2004
-met wai cheong on his bdae when he got back from UK..nice! only to know tht derrick know him too..had his bdae bash at barmed..yeaa know some new friends thr too!
-i got to know ronald whr later on, i got to know his friends
san san, agnes, ke li, lynda, ss, beng beng, and others more..
-battle of the bands eh? i got to know another bunch of friends thru san san
tht was when i started going clubbin more often with them..they r indeed fun n nice
max, kenny, kelvin, and others..ahahah too badd i have i very short term memory..sorry guys!
-celebrated my 18th bdae in my dads friends restaurant and then to club 7
had 2cakes in a row..bunch of close friends came...had my best night ever..ppl chillin out at club 7 n the dj thr even sang a bdae song to me...the bdae song was repeated again n again by diff ppl..i was touched
-got so much closer with kelly who is now my petsis, sandy who left to kdu, alex who is also in kdu now, lu yi who i loved so much
-knew some net friends who i still keep in touch with now and then..accompanied me when i'm down and when i rot in the house
they are hann-a very nice polite sweet guy, justin-another nice guy who get so guilty for not going out with me whn he's back from aussie, james from uk, john ji-yea u!! my baby from s'pore whos a very sweet loving n smart person..and many many more! oh yea john and wira kun from indo who studies in aussie too knew me 3yrs plus back then whn i started havin msn..nice!

2005
-was my 2nd yr doing my diploma, perhaps a lil more stressed out for not havin any long breaks like the first sem
-zouk fesk which was held up on genting..thanks to david who drove me up thr n let me stayed with him n his other friends..got to know marcus, edeleen and her cousin..had fun with jess, jian, and edwin...fantastic night!
-the almost ended friendship btwn me and lu yi, i screwed things up and everything went so wrong..too wrong
-i broke down..i had a severe headache one day plus i didnt had anything the whole day..my whole body got numb and i could not talk or move..my family panicked and got so worried..i could only see how sad my mom looked when she applied oilment on my body and rub them to warm me up..i cried, the doc injected me twice and said i was overstressed
-i kept in touch with junkiat and then i met his friends..i asked for a favor from them..to help me out for my masscolympic games..i was incharge of the games..tht was how i got to know adam, karheng, cinvin, mel, chia chia, justin and some others..
-got together with adam and well wouldnt wanna elaborate on tht..a short sweet and sour memory during my mid break
-foo soon came back and we met up at a club in pyramid and then joined him at rush with others- maow jun and zheng wei and his friends whom i dont seem to rmb their names now..
-bro released an album was part of his biggest dream and accomplishment..
-a new friend who dont quite exactly a new friend, junseng..bros friend and now my FRIEND woots..
-did a charity movie screening..the longest yard and when amber came as a guest..work tentatively with other members and had succeeded collected rm3k plus..
-my bdae at luna with my sistas..jess, cyndi, yam woon and junseng too!
-started my internship at spencerazizul..was also when i became matured and wiser
my everyday craziness with js..creds to him cuz he's indeed a real gud guy who drops me to kl sentral early mornin so i could avoid hassle from subang
-christmas dinner with jiaheng, yoonghin n the gf, yam woon, cyndi, jess and js at telawi..first time havin christmas dinner outside with bunch of close friends..i'm lovin it!
-countdown at kl, sgwang bro performed with other local singers-danny, aric, atq winners and others..

what bout 2006? i'm awaiting patiently and anxiously..i'm wishin everyone a happy new yr and of course to stay healthy forever! i'm graduating this may and by then..yam woon, david, cyndi and jess are all overseas already...san san and foo soon will be back too..and i'll need to go to penang for my friends wedding...

overall, i'm really glad to have met new friends and friends who became so much closer than b4..and for those who became part of my life once..love yea all! apologies to those who i've not able to mention here...u'll b in myheart forever..
lastly, enjoy the new yr ahead with full of suprises and challenges!muaks!